Interpretations
by sweetytweety8
Summary: Caskett's thoughts from their first meeting -"Flowers for Your Grave"(1x01); the interrogation scene -"A Deadly Affair"(3x01); the last scene -"Always"(4x23); jealous Beckett -"Pandora"(4x15) and "Linchpin"(4x16); the hotel scene -"To Love and Die in L.A."(3x22); their first kiss -"Knockdown"(3x13); jealous Castle - "The Limey"(4x20) and jealous Beckett -"Eye of the Beholder"(4x05)
1. Flowers for Your Grave

**A/N: One of my favorites scenes between Castle and Kate is of course, when they meet for the first time. It all started with that first meeting so there was no way I would skip it. I really hope you would enjoy reading it. Please write reviews and let me know what you think.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or its characters**

 **Flowers for Your Grave**

Richard Castle was bored to death. He was bored with his life and with everything in it. He felt like he needed to get back the spark in his life in order to make it interesting once again. He was just sick and tired of the same old routine of his life as a best-selling author. He was getting tired of his fame - the book signings, all the gatherings, the fans, even the girls - it was all the same every single day. The parties were so dull and predictable, the girls were all same and boring, and the fans kept asking him all the same questions every single time. Nothing felt new or interesting anymore. Everything felt so dull and boring. It was just tiring and Castle was really sick of it. He just felt like everything in his life was grey, boring and very predictable. Rick desperately needed a change. Something new and adventurous. Even writing had became dull and boring for him. And writing for Castle used to be so much fun - he just loved it. But being a best-selling author and having written so many books made him want to spice things up, to begin something new and interesting. Because writing had started to feel like all work and no fun - he just didn't enjoy it like he used to before. And even though he really wanted to write a new book, he was having a writer's block. So he just needed a new inspiration. He desperately needed some change. He wanted to start something new, interesting, extraordinary and even adventurous. He really wanted to get inspired by something but he still didn't know what could he do about it. He just needed something different in order to break the chains of the vicious circle in his life. Richard needed a new spark to bring more color to his grey and boring life.

Once again, Richard Castle was at another one of his book parties and he was talking to his daughter Alexis:

"Just once, I'd like someone to come up to me and say something new," he was explaining to Alexis when he heard unknown female voice:

"Mr. Castle?" A woman approached him and Castle turned around, taking out the pen from his pocket, asking her politely, "Where would you like it?" He immediately assumed that the woman was going to ask him for his autograph - all women did the same thing - and of course, he knew the drill very well. He was ready to sign a book, a poster, or even a part of her body - whatever she liked, but still secretly hoping to say her chest. He was always prepared to give his autograph, especially to a sexy woman like her.

"Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD." She introduced herself, showing the badge to his face. "We need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight."

"That's new," his daughter stated, taking the pen away from him.

And indeed it was new. The moment Castle heard the detective's voice and looked at her way he got paralyzed. It was the moment when he truly saw her and he was just mesmerized by the sight in front of him. She was a beauty with gorgeous hazel eyes, short brown hair, dressed in a suit. He stood there immobilized and silent because he just couldn't move or say a word - he was paralyzed by her appearance. He was truly mesmerized by the soft hazel eyes of the beautiful woman in front of him. Actually, she had the most gorgeous eyes he have ever seen.

Then the beautiful Detective took him in the precinct for questioning.

Castle was sitting at the table, waiting in the interrogation room when he heard her voice and turned around. "Mr. Castle," Beckett called his name coldly, entering the room, holding an open file in her hands. "You've got quite a rap sheet for a best-selling author," she stated, walking toward the table. "Disorderly conduct, resisting arrest," she read from the file and then looked at him. Her voice was stern and steady and she was acting all professional around him. She looked very serious and he noticed that everything in her screamed she was a true professional - from the way she was dressed to the way she talked and even the way she walked.

"Boys will be boys," he answered, shrugging his shoulders innocently, giving her a small smile.

She looked at him and smiled sardonically at his statement, and then read some more from the file in her hands. "Says here that you stole a police horse," she stated and then looked back at him.

"Borrowed," he quickly made a remark, implying that it wasn't a stealing.

"Ah!" She exclaimed and nodded her head, looking back to the file in her hands. "And you were nude at the time," she said, smirking, as she was obviously trying hard not to giggle. She looked a bit embarrassed tough.

 _"I could bet the house she is trying to imagine how I look nude."_

"It was spring," he simply answered, looking at her.

"And every time, the charges were dropped." She stated a bit angrily, closing the file in her hands and then put it on the table abruptly.

"What can I say? The mayor is a fan," he started explaining her as she pulled a chair and sat in front of him, making herself comfortable. He leaned closer to her and said, "But if it makes you feel any better, I'd be happy to let you spank me." He was looking at her to see her reaction but she was avoiding looking at his eyes.

"Mr. Castle," she finally looked at him and leaned closer as well, folding her hands in front of her, "this whole bad boy charm thing that you've got going might work for bimbettes and celebutants. Me?" she paused and then continued, her voice a bit sharper than it was before. "I work for a living. So that makes you one of two things in my world, either the guy who makes my life easier or the guy who makes my life harder. And trust me, you do not want to be the guy who makes my life harder." She was talking to him but Castle wasn't listening to her very carefully.

As he was watching her talk, so close to him, her words escaped him and he started thinking. _"She is so close to me. And she smells divine. I wonder what's that perfume..."_ He was very distracted by her closeness and her scent of perfume. _"Her eyes are gorgeous... I should probably listen to her because she doesn't look very impressed by me."_ His mind was rushing with thoughts, but he was still trying to concentrate on the conversation and the things she was saying. _"Okay, just concentrate on her lips. No, not on her lips, on whatever she is saying with them."_ He tried to look into her eyes, tempted by the thought of her lips being so close to his. _"She is talking with a very cold demeanor so I'd better listen to her carefully."_

"Okay." He just agreed, the minute she stopped talking. The last thing he heard her saying was the word harder and he didn't know what exactly she was talking about but he could definitely imagine her saying that kind of things under different circumstances. So much more inappropriate circumstances though.

She took out a photo and put it on the desk in front of him. "Alison Tisdale. Daughter of real estate mogul Jonathan Tisdale." She started explaining, showing him the photo of the girl.

He looked at the photo and tried to concentrate on her questions instead of letting his inappropriate thoughts cloud his judgment. "She's cute," he stated, seeing the photo in front of him.

"She's dead," she cut him off coldly. "Did you ever meet her?" She asked, looking at him inquiringly. "Book signing? Charity event?"

"It's possible," he answered, looking down at the photo once again. "She's not in my little black book, if that's what you're asking."

"What about this guy?" The detective asked, pulling out another photo from the case file. "Marvin Fisk. Small claims lawyer."

"Most of my claims tend to be on the um... " he made a pause and said his next words more quietly, "large side" he continued his sentence, emphasizing his last two words and she just rolled her eyes at him. "So what's this got to do with me?"

"Fisk was found murdered in his office two weeks ago. I didn't put it together until we saw the Tisdale crime scene tonight." Beckett said and took out another photo, showing it to him once again.

"Flowers For Your Grave ," he stated, recognizing the photo in front of him.

"And this is how we found Marvin Fisk, right out of Hell Hath No Fury." She said, showing Castle the picture of the victim, looking at him intently.

"Looks like I have a fan," he stated.

"Yeah." She agreed with him. "A really deranged fan."

"Oh, you don't look deranged to me," he answered, making a joke, avoiding looking at her eyes, amused by his own sense of humor.

"What?" She asked, confused, as she shot him with a quizzical look.

Castle smirked, licking his lips. "Hell Hath No Fury? Angry Wiccans out for blood? Come on. Only hardcore Castle groupies read that one." He explained, amused by the detective's behavior and the way she was looking at him. She looked a bit nervous and even embarrassed. He finally managed to undermine her confidence and her cold demeanor.

"Do any of these g-groupies ever write you letters?" She asked, her voice trembling just a bit. He nodded slightly in confirmation. "Disturbing letters?" She specified, looking at him.

"All my fan mail's disturbing. It's an occupational hazard."

"Because sometimes, in cases like this," she pointed at the pictures in the desk, "we find that the killer attempts-"

"Killer attempts to contact the subject of his obsession," he finished off her sentence and saw that she was staring at him with such a surprise. "I'm also pretty well-versed in psychopathic methodologies. Another occupational hazard." He explained to her and then leaned even closer to her, saying, "And do you know you have gorgeous eyes?"

He just had to pint that out to her. And he definitely managed to take her off guards, judging by her reaction to his compliment. _"She looks taken aback,"_ he thought to himself, seeing her gulp nervously, looking away from him.

"So I take it that you won't have any objection to us going through your mail?" She asked, gathering nervously all the pictures from the table. She was indeed a bit nervous and obviously, she intended to avoided his comment about her gorgeous eyes completely.

"Knock yourself out," he answered and she got up, taking the file with her. "Can I get copies of those?" He asked, pointing at the file in her hand, looking at her cautiously.

"Copies?" She asked, surprised.

"I have this poker game. It's mostly other writers. Patterson, Cannell. You know, bestsellers. You have no idea how jealous those would make them." He started explaining and she looked very surprised by his statement.

"Jealous?" She asked, obviously still a bit confused.

"That I have a copycat." He explained. "Oh, my gosh. In my world, that's the red badge of honor. That's the criminal Cooperstown."

She leaned on the table abruptly, going very near to his face, "People are dead, Mr. Castle." She stated coldly and looked him in the eyes, giving him a dirty look like he had done something unforgivable.

 _"Don't look down, don look down,"_ he repeated to himself, tempted by the view in front of him. _"Just look at her in the eyes and don't go any lower,"_ he encouraged himself, trying to look at her eyes instead of wandering them around her cleavage, which was dangerously close to his eye level.

"I'm not asking for the bodies. Just the pictures," he stated quietly, biting his lip, hoping not to make her more angry than she was already. Because she definitely looked pissed off by his request.

She gave him a sardonic smile and exclaimed, "I think we're done here." Then she exited the interrogation room.

And Castle just stood there, still a bit startled. During the whole interview had been observing detective Beckett. He had scrutinized her behavior, her strong demeanor, the way she acted around him. And he had found that Katherine Beckett was no ordinary woman - he could tell that she was very different from all the other women. She wasn't starstrucked unlike all the other women, which were all crazy about him. Okay, maybe there weren't all crazy about him but at least, they were all pleased to meet with him - unlike Beckett. Because it seemed to him like she wasn't even a bit pleased to meet with a famous author like him. And usually, the other women would laugh at everything he said and would shamelessly flirt with him. But not Katherine Beckett. She didn't laugh at his jokes, and she didn't even crack a smile. Because she was tough and a way too serious girl. Not to mention that she didn't took very nicely his sincere compliment about her gorgeous eyes. She just ignored his comment completely, which was very rude in Castle's opinion. But Kate indeed had the most gorgeous eyes he had ever seen. Castle had tried to flirt with her but she obviously wasn't the flirtatious type. He even had tried to play his charm on her - his boyish grin, his funny jokes, even his compliments - but she still didn't look very impressed with him. Nothing worked on her - neither his sense of humor nor his charm. He wanted to impress her somehow but she was untouchable. But he wasn't going to give up just yet. He liked her very much - from the moment he set eyes on her - so he wasn't going to concede defeat on his mission of charming her. And even though she looked like the all-work-and-no-fun kind of person, he liked her anyway. And she had definitely caught his attention. So he was determined to win her somehow.

* * *

After that Castle and Beckett started working on the crime case together. Castle went to the precinct to help Beckett solve the case, explaining to her that he was there just for the story. Because of the crime case and nothing more. Actually, that was exactly what he told himself too. He tried to convince himself of that same thing but he knew very well that he was there for another reason. He was there for so much more than just the case. He was helping Beckett with the case because he liked her. And he liked her because she was different from the others. She was unique, extraordinary and special. He was following her around, trying to find out more about her. Because he was intrigued by her. He just wanted to know her story, to peel her layers and see her true self.

Castle had been observing Beckett during the time he spent with her, helping her with the case. He had been scrutinizing every little detail about her because he was more than curious about everything she was interested in. He just wanted to know everything about her - everything she did, every little habit. He could see she was very smart and good-looking woman. But she was also very bossy and liked doing things her own way. She had such a sex appeal which she was hiding behind her work clothes and cold demeanor. But she was definitely hot. She was making herself look bad but he knew it was just a pretend - a protection that she used to hide her sweet and soft side. He was sure that she had a soft side but she just liked her privacy and was very hard to get to know person. He had noticed many other things too. Some sweet little things she did - from the way her brow furrowed when she was thinking to the way she bit her lower lip when she was nervous. And these little habits of hers seemed really cute and sexy at the same time. Everything she did was cute, actually. That was one of the many reasons he liked her so much.

* * *

After spending a couple of days with Beckett it was time to go. The case was solved and Castle knew everything had to come to an end, even though he didn't want it to end. But it was all over so he went to say goodbye to Beckett.

"Well, guess this is it." She was standing in front of him with her hands behind her back, watching at him with her beautiful hazel eyes.

"Oh, it doesn't have to be. We could go to dinner, debrief each other." He suggested, hoping to make her stay or at least see her one more time.

"Why, Castle? So I can be another one of your conquests?" She asked, a bit amused. She was talking very friendly with him and she was all smiles. She looked so cute.

 _"So she can be one of my conquests, is she joking?! Hell, I am a famous bestselling author! If anyone is going to be a conquests that would be me."_

"Or I could be one of yours," Castle answered, still trying to sound modest, not wanting to brag in front of her. Bragging or showing off definitely didn't work on her and neither did his charm. He knew that very well so he just tried to look coy in front of her.

"It was nice to meet you, Castle." She said, offering him a hand. Castle took it, and as he shook her hand he realized how much he would miss her.

"It's too bad," he said. "It would have been great," he reassured her, insinuating that she was going to miss a lot by declining his invitation. She smirked at his statement and bit her lip. And oh, the way she bit that lip of hers made him want her even more if that was even possible.

Then she did something he hadn't expected at all - she leaned closer to his ear and whispered softly, "You have no idea." Her answer definitely took him off guards and made her look even sexier than before. And then she turned back and started walking away, leaving behind only her sweet scent of perfume and the light touch that Castle could still feel on his hand.

 _"A woman with a class and confidence, he thought, seeing her turning around and slowly walking away from him._ _And with a killer gait - so sexy, confident, and the way she swings her whole body, oh my..."_ He was watching at her intently as she was walking away from him, amazed by her.

In that moment Castle realized that Beckett had turned his world upside down. Just a couple days spent with her and everything had changed. Nothing was going to be the same without her. During the couple of days he had spent with her he had so much fun. Being with Beckett was such an adventure - so appealing and interesting at the same time. He liked spending his time with her and regretted that it was all over. Because he realized that she was the new spark he needed so desperately in his life. She was something new, special and unique.

When Castle returned home, he immediately grabbed his laptop and started writing. He was truly inspired by Kate, by all the adventures he had experienced, by the whole time he had spent with her. He was so inspired that the words just came so quickly and effortlessly in his mind. Writing was starting to feel so fun and interesting again. Beckett had returned the appeal of writing. She had become his inspiration, his passion, his drug. She was a mystery he wanted to solve. And he knew that he had to see her again. He didn't know how or when exactly but he just knew that he would meet her again. He didn't want to lose his precious muse, his new spark, his adventure. He just had to see her again, come hell or high water.

 **So, did you like it or not? Should I continue sharing my interpretations of some other scenes between Castle and Beckett? What do you think?**


	2. A Deadly Affair

**A/N: This is another favorite scene of mine from the first episode of the third season - the interrogation scene. This time it's from Kate's perspective. Not as funny as the first one but it's very intense and I just love that scene. I hope you love it, too. Please write reviews and let me know what you think about it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or its characters**

 **A Deadly Affair**

Katherine Beckett was feeling lonely. She had been feeling lonely for quite some time. Actually, she had these feelings of loneliness, sadness and emptiness deep inside her ever since Castle had left for Hamptons. But then, out of the blue, she learned that Castle was back in town. She didn't learn the news personally from him though because Castle hadn't called or texted her during the whole summer. No, she learned that he was back in town from some stupid ad on a shop window. When she found out the big news she had so many mixed feelings rushing through her mind, not knowing what to do or what to think of it. Should she call him or just ignore the news, pretend that she didn't know he was back? Pretend she hadn't seen the ad? But if someone had to do something about it then it was definitely Castle who had to call. Because he was the one supposed to call her and yet he hadn't. Castle hadn't called or even texted her during the whole summer. Not one single call, not even a message. No nothing. So she was very mad at him for the fact he had came back in town and haven't even told her. She was even beyond mad. In fact, if she could meet Castle at that very moment she would definitely pour out her anger at him. Because she was so mad at him that she wanted to slap him in the face - the harder the better. She wanted to yell at him as loud as her voice could go, to punch him as hard as she could. She just wanted to get her anger out at him, she needed it. She wanted to hurt him the way he did. Make him suffer for leaving her just like that. And at that same time she wanted to kiss him, to hug him and tell him how much she had missed him. Because she did miss him a lot. She was torn apart. She had broken up with Demming because of Castle and when she had finally mustered enough courage and was ready to confess him her true feelings she had found out that he was leaving. So she wasn't just mad at him - she was furious. And actually she felt she had every right to be so angry at him. She had spent so many months all alone, feeling abandoned by him, not knowing when he was coming back and whether he was coming back at all. Several painful months in which she couldn't stop thinking about him. So she wanted to rage at him, to unleash all the grudge she had held in herself during the time he was gone. If only he was right there, standing in front of her at that very moment then she would most definitely slap him. That was the least she would do to him. Because she was hurt, angry and very sad. Every time someone called her she would pick up the phone secretly hoping that it would be Castle who was calling her. He had came back to town and haven't even called her. That just wasn't fair. It wasn't fair because she just have learned how to cope without him. Somehow she started getting used of being all alone, without him and without his constant jokes that made her laugh. So when she learned that he was back she just didn't know what to do. But she was glad that as a cop she had learned to hold her emotions at bay and so, she even managed to make a joke about Castle when they saw the ad on the window. She casually joked about the news with Ryan and Esposito without showing her true feelings. She managed to act cool and pretend that everything was fine even though she was so frustrated and hurt.

Kate knew Castle was in town so she expected to bump into him somewhere eventually but what she didn't expect was to see him at a crime scene. When she saw him standing there she was shocked and got paralyzed. But she suppressed all her emotions that were raging through her and managed to act professional. Because even though she wanted to rage, yell as loud as she could at him, to get out her anger that she had suppressed for so long, she managed to go near Castle and arrest him. For being at the crime scene of course, not for breaking up her heart. And arresting him, putting the handcuffs on his hands actually gave her a little satisfaction.

"Something is different," Castle remarked, looking around the interrogation room. "Did you remodel?" He asked and looked at her.

Kate didn't say a thing - she just closed the door angrily and slowly walked toward the table, watching Castle intently all the while. She put the folder she was holding at the table and sat in front of Castle, trying to calm down a little bit and act all professional around him. She was cop after all, so she could manage perfectly well to hold back her anger and act professional. That was her pep talk to encourage herself to calm down and pretend that nothing had happened. Pretend that she wasn't mad or hurt. Then she took a deep steady breath and put her arms on the table, knotting her fingers together in front of her.

"You've been informed of your rights, Mr. Castle?" She asked him sternly and very coldly, treating him just like another suspect of her investigation or even a stranger. She was trying to act all professional but she was having a really hard time trying to cover up her anger. She was going to punish him with her cold demeanor, not wanting to give away that she really missed him. She just didn't want him to see how hurt she was.

"Really? You're not even gonna ask me how my summer was?" He asked, watching her in disbelief.

"You are aware that you are under arrest for murder?" She stated. She was acting very distant and even cold around him for a reason. She would never let him see her true emotions and feelings, not after he had left her and hadn't called or even texted her. She just couldn't let it go but at least she was trying to hide her emotions even though she was really mad at him in that very moment.

"And I thought you were being rough with the cuffs just for fun," he joked but she just looked at him sternly, not very impressed with his humor. She wasn't going to let his charm cloud her judgment. His usual charm and bright smile wasn't going to make he forget her anger. She couldn't let that happen. "You look good." He said with his usual light demeanor and a boyish grin on his face. Once again he was trying to lighten up the mood but his compliments weren't going to make her forgive him.

"You look good, too." She answered, looking back at him intently, testing him.

"Yeah?"

"For murder!" She added loudly and a bit angrier than she intended. Even though she was sure he wasn't a murder because she knew him very well, he still was a heartbreaker. And if being a heartbreaker was a crime then he definitely would be guilty as charged.

"Why are you so mad at me?" He asked, looking all surprised by her abrupt answer.

He was daring to ask her why she was mad. He didn't even know the reason! That was unforgivable.

"Maybe because you were found standing over a dead body with a gun in your hand." She suggested, trying to focus on the case and to ignore her raging anger that made her blood boil.

"Yeah, but I told you, she was dead when I got there." He simply answered her, shrugging his shoulder innocently.

"Why didn't you call?" She quickly asked him, shooting him with her question directly like a bullet, then she leaned closer to him, intrigued by whatever he was going to say next. She didn't even try to cover her anger that time because she had been asking herself that exact same question for so long and she desperately wanted to hear his answer. She just needed to hear his explanation.

"I was going to call you," he said hesitantly, stuttering a bit and she picked up her eyebrows, all in ears to hear the reason he was about to say even though she knew he was gonna make it up at that very moment. Because she knew him very well. But she liked making him sweat and really nervous anyway. "But then you showed up before I could." He answered her after a small pause. That was definitely not the answer she was hoping for. He just found himself an excuse, ignoring her question even though he knew exactly what she meant. He was just avoiding her true question.

"Really?" she shook her head disappointedly, pressing her lips into a hard line. That was her way of calming down. "Well, then why did we find you in our victim's apartment?" She continued to question him about the case, focusing on what was truly important at that moment.

"Well, because she called me," he answered back.

"Oh. So you and Miss Santori were in a relationship," she concluded, rolling her eyes at that statement. She didn't even want to imagine that but she had to test him.

"I wouldn't say it was a relationship. I bought a couple of sculptures..."

"Were you sleeping with her?" She cut him off, asking her question way too quickly and very directly even before he could finish his sentence. She was eager to hear his answer. It was something she wanted to know but not truly. She wanted to know only if his answer would be negative. But she really had to know the whole truth.

"How is that relevant?" He questioned her.

Of course it wasn't relevant - she just wanted to know what he had been doing during the whole summer and mostly, whom. She didn't want to ask him directly and she just tried in every possible way to make him talk. "Motive," she quickly answered him. It was the first thing that crossed her mind.

"Ah," he said, licking his lips. "No, I wasn't sleeping with her." He answered her question, leaning forward a bit and looking straight into her eyes.

She was watching him intently, scrutinizing his reactions and features to see whether he was lying to her. "Are you sure?" She asked, just to make sure that he was telling the truth. "Beautiful woman-"

"I'm in a relationship," he answered.

"With whom?" She asked more persistently, interrogating him.

"Is that a new lipstick?" He asked and his actions were so lame and transparent for her. He was just trying to distract her and avoid further questions. Once again, he was trying to charm her but she was so mad at him that she just wasn't buying it. She was well aware of the fact that he was trying to distract her with his charm but her fury was stronger than anything.

"Castle!" She exclaimed abruptly, forcing him to answer her question.

"You know with whom."

"How should I know? I haven't seen you in months." She stated, emphasizing on the word months. It felt like a decade to her. "You could have been in dozens of relationships with women since then." She said, her voice going a bit louder than she intended, so she was sounding angry even to herself. But she just couldn't help it.

"You sound jealous." He stated and his statement cut her like a knife, but she didn't even flinch, hiding her true emotions.

"Jealous? Of you dating your second ex-wife and publisher?" She asked, making it sound like it was a ridiculous statement. Even though it was all true - she indeed was very jealous, - she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of answering his question. She leaned closer to him and said, "Tell me, does she make you do everything on a deadline?" She asked him in a mocking demeanor with a snarky tone. She decided the best way to escape his real question was to nag with him, hoping he would take the bait.

"So how about you? You still with that cop boyfriend of yours?" He started questioning her, the anger in his voice so transparent. "What was his name again?" He looked away, pretending he was trying to remember his name. "Demming!" He exclaimed and looked back at her.

She tried to remain calm and not to give in to her emotions which were raging through her at that moment. But just hearing Castle mention his name, reminded her that she broke up with Demming because of Castle. So she just looked down, avoiding Castle's gaze.

"You broke up?" He asked, sounding a bit surprised.

"This victim that called you," she started asking him about the victim, changing the subject "what was it about?" She asked him and looked at him again. She tried to focus on the case because she definitely had let him distract her from it.

"She said she was in trouble and she couldn't go to the police."

"So why did she call you?" She questioned him, focusing on the case.

"Because Maya knew I had a relationship with you-ooh," he bit his lips, maybe realizing the way his statment sounded. "With the NYPD," he corrected himself. "She thought I could help."

"Help how?" She asked, not wanting to distract him from the case and mostly, not wanting to distract herself. But she definitely noticed the way Castle bit his lips after his statement, she just decided to ignore it. She chose to ignore his statement, and mostly the way he said it, not wanting to go to that path at that very moment.

"She didn't say, she just told me to come over. When I got there, the door was open, the place was trashed. She was dead on the bed and there was a gun on the floor." He explained to her.

"So you being the expert veteran of dozens of crime scenes, decided to pick up the murder weapon, to.. what? Ensure that we had your prints?"

"Maybe you missed the part where I said she was shot dead. When I heard the noises coming from the next room, I thought whoever killed her was coming back. So I picked up the gun to defend myself. It seemed like a very good idea at the time. That's when you, Esposito and Annie Oakley come bursting through the door."

After the interrogation she just let Castle go. Seeing Castle there, talking to him again, made her realize how much she had missed him. She was truly glad that he was back. She was kind of happy to have him back but of course she would never let him know that. She hadn't shown him her true feelings in any way even though she had barely hidden them inside her. She had failed in hiding her anger but she at least managed to stay calm and not to punch him. She didn't slap him even though she was angry at him and yet she didn't even hug him. She had abstained herself from any outburst of emotions. She had punished him with a cold demeanor though. She had treated Castle badly but she didn't feel sorry for that. Because she thought taht he totally deserved it. She was still torn apart between her feelings about him but now that he was back, she would have plenty of time to figure them out.


	3. Always

**A/N: Thank you all for your reviews - I really appreciate it. I know that probably there are many fanfictions about this episode and particularly about this one last scene of the episode, but I just couldn't help it so I wrote one of my own anyway. This is my take on the last scene between Kate and Rick from the episode "Always" (4x23). There is no doubt that it's my favorite scene between them so I hope you like it, too. And just to mention that I also included the deleted scene from the episode. Please write reviews and share whether you like the fiction or not. You might as well share what's your own favorite scene between Castle and Beckett, give me some prompts. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or its characters**

 **Always**

It had happened before. It wasn't such a rare event for Castle and Beckett - they had some disagreements and nagged with each other a lot. They teased and tortured each other. Castle liked driving Beckett crazy with his wild theories and Beckett liked teasing Castle and torturing him. They both loved pushing each other's buttons, driving each other crazy and testing each other's limits. But fighting for them was a rare event. And now they had a huge fight. They had fought before and their argue was always about Beckett's mother's case. But this time it was different, more serious than ever. It wasn't the first time they fought about it though - Castle would tell Beckett she shouldn't be so reckless when it came to her mother's case and Kate would tell Castle that she can take care of herself and he should mind his own business. She had told him she wasn't a child and he couldn't make decisions for her. But they just ended up yelling at each other, each trying to put the other on blame. And this time there was no turning back. Castle had told Kate he wouldn't be there to sit and watch how she threw away her life for what she believed was the right thing to do. And so he left her because he really meant it. He wasn't going to stay and do nothing about it - he just couldn't. So he just walked away. Away from her, away from everything. But in the end, even though he was the one who left Kate, he felt abandoned and lonely without her. He was broken-hearted and very sad. They both were. Broken-hearted and hurt and very angry with each other.

But despite all they had been through, and despite their huge fight, Kate still wanted to see him. After what happened to her she had changed her perspectives in life. Being on the ledge of that building, on the edge of death, was like a wake-up call for her. It just made her see everything differently. It made her see what was truly important in her life. And she just had realized she couldn't continue like that anymore, not without Castle. She had finally seen that Castle was just trying to protect her. And he was doing everything because he cared about her, because he loved her. She had finally realized why he was doing everything that he confessed he had done - just to protect her. She could forgive his betrayal because she knew that everything he did was out of love for her. And now she desperately needed Castle. To see him, to talk to him. So she dialed Castle's number to see whether he was at home, hoping that he would pick up his phone. She was craving to hear his voice once again. But unfortunately, he wasn't answering his cell phone. Maybe he was just busy with something or perhaps he just ignored her call on purpose because he didn't want to talk to her - she didn't know for sure. But she was afraid that it was the second one. Either way, she was going at his place at that very moment - she just desperately needed to see him. And she just hoped that it wasn't too late.

When Castle saw that Beckett was the one who was calling he just ignored her call and turned off his cell phone. He definitely didn't want to hear from her. Not after what she did to him. All he wanted to do was forget about her. So he took the remote, turning the monitor on and stared at it blankly for a few seconds. When he saw the picture of Beckett on the screen he frowned, remembering everything that had happened between them. He just couldn't stop thinking about the argument they had - it went over and over again in his head. He could still hear her angry words, the yelling, all the rage she poured out on him. He thought about everything that had happened between them, everything that they had been trough together. He had never guessed that everything between them would end up this way. He took a few steps forward, going closer to the monitor, then he reached out and hesitantly erased the file of Beckett's mother's case. He was done with that. He was done with the case. He was done with Kate. He didn't want to see her or hear anything about her. He needed to forget her. He just had to. He took a deep breath, swallowing hard, trying to ease out the pain he felt. And at that moment someone knocked on the door.

Kate arrived at Castle's apartment and knocked hesitantly on the door, waiting impatiently at his threshold. She made four quick but persistent knocks on his door as her hand trembled from anticipation. She was standing there, shaking with anxiety and a little bit of coldness, too. She was feeling a bit cold - her clothes were all soaking wet, her hair flattened from the heavy rain but she didn't care. All she could think about at that moment was Castle. Her mind was rushing with thoughts and questions like: "Would he be at home?", "What should I say to him?", "What should I do?". She hadn't prepared a speech or anything of that sort. She hadn't thought about what she was going to say to him or what she was going to do. She didn't have a plan at all. She just needed to see him. That was all that she knew at that moment but it was enough for her. Her anxiety grew with every passed second, and she wondered if Castle was there at all. He had ignored her call so she was afraid that he wouldn't want to see her there. The storm outside was nothing compared to her stormy thoughts and doubts she was having at that very moment, while she was waiting for Castle to open the door.

Castle wasn't expecting anyone at that late hour. He had just talked with Alexis and knew for sure that she would be at her graduation party and his mother had left for Hamptons. So he didn't expect anyone, especially in this stormy weather. Who would be so crazy to go out in such a bad weather, he thought walking toward the door. He opened the door widely and a cold air hit his face, a draft coming from the outside. And then he just froze at his place when he saw Kate, standing there at his threshold. She was the last person he expected to see. And maybe even the last person he wanted to see at that very moment. A thunder cracked somewhere outside the moment he opened the door and saw it as a herald of her stormy and unexpected, even unwanted arrival. He couldn't believe it was her and she was truly there. He slowly breathed the cold air, staring blankly at her.

But the cold air coming from outside was nothing compared with his cold stare that he gave her. The second Kate looked at Rick and studied his face, she could tell he was mad - his lips were pressed into a hard thin line and she could see the anger written all over his face, even in his eyes. It was obvious that he was still mad at her and he also looked a bit surprised by her unexpected visit. There was a long moment of silence and Kate just wondered what he was thinking about at that very moment, craving to hear the thoughts in his head, considering his cold glare.

Castle was truly taken aback from Kate's unexpected visit. He thought for a few minutes, considering what to say to her. He didn't expect her. Not at this late hour and definitely not after they had such a fight. And especially not after what she did to him. He could have never guessed that she would have the audacity to show up at his place after what she did to him. And he had nothing to say to her, so he wasn't going to treat her all friendly like nothing had happened between them. Because it definitely had and she knew it. "Beckett, what do you want?" He asked, his voice icy cold, distant and even hostile.

The coldness in Rick's voice, his hostile tone, and the way he was looking at her were another evidence of his anger. Her fears turned out to be true - it seemed like he didn't want to see her - but she wasn't going away. There was a trace of sadness in his deep blue eyes as they were looking sullenly at her. It was like Castle was broken. He definitely looked broken. Kate just gazed at his face, thinking what to say to him. What did she want from him? There was nothing she could say to him to erase the pain from his face, to earn his forgiveness. So she simply answered him, "You". It was a very simple and short answer but it was all true and it came straight from her heart. All she wanted at that very moment was him. To kiss him and touch him. To taste his lips and feel his hands everywhere around her longing body. The only place she wanted to be at that very moment was in his arms. To have him soothe her own pain and hope that she could cure his. She wanted to take her words back, to ease his pain and try to earn his forgiveness. She just wanted to heal each other's pain with kisses. That was what she wanted. Him. And she wanted him so badly, before she knew it, she threw herself in his arms for a kiss.

Rick stepped back when Kate entered his apartment but she took a few swift steps towards him and all of a sudden she kissed him. Before he could register what was happening she just wrapped her hands around his face, cupping it and kissed him with such a passion. He was so surprised - he just couldn't believe what was happening. He hesitantly lifted his hands, almost grabbing her shoulders in order to push her away but he didn't touch her, making up his mind at the last minute. He ended up shaking his hands in the air, not knowing what to do. He was scared that if he pushed her back she would go away for real. And even though he was beyond mad at her, he still didn't want her to go away. But he most definitely wasn't sure what was going on, and why she was kissing him. He was so confused at that very moment. But he knew for sure that Kate just couldn't barge in his home, kiss him like that, and pretend that nothing ever had happened. Because it had. And he wasn't going to ignore it.

Kate cupped his face with her trembling fingers and kissed him softly but passionately. Then she looked at his face, studying it, caressing his cheek with her thumb. She leaned her head against his forehead, breathing heavily against his mouth. "I'm so sorry, Castle. I'm so sorry," she muttered softly against his face, apologizing to him, looking down somewhere at the floor. She was truly sorry. For so many things. For everything that she did to him, for their argument, for everything that had happened. Sorry for blaming him for everything when it wasn't his fault. All Kate could do was to apologize for what she did to him. She just hoped that Castle would forgive her because her apology was sincere and her desire was only for him. For his lips, for his hands, for his touches.

Castle could feel her cold breath against his mouth, her cold fingers exploring his jaw, and her damp hair dripping small droplets on his shirt. Her voice was so soft and quiet, filled with regret and sorrow. Her hands were all cold and damp from the rain but he didn't care. "I'm so sorry," Kate repeated regretfully and kissed him again, earning his forgiveness. He could feel the regret in her words and could see the sorrow in her eyes. Her skin was so cold and damp but her kisses were oh-so-sweet, and her mouth - all hot and needy. And Castle just couldn't believe it - Kate was just standing right there in front of him, dripping wet from the rain, kissing him, and apologizing for what she did. He had been dreaming about this moment ever since he met her. From the moment he set eyes on her he had been fantasizing about this exact same moment - the moment when he could kiss her and touch her freely. Even in his wildest fantasies he hadn't imagined that she would come at his place and throw herself in his arms, dripping wet and so vulnerable. But he couldn't have her - not like that. He had to know the truth first. He just couldn't forgive her right away. He had to know what happened and why she was doing that. What made her change her mind. So he caught her hands by the wrists and pushed her away. He saw her face was full with tears and so he couldn't help looking away. He just hated seeing her cry. She looked so vulnerable and fragile to him at that moment. There wasn't even a trace of the tough detective that he knew so well. "What happened?" He asked, looking at her face again.

Kate looked down, taking a deep breath and looked right back at Castle. "He got away, and I didn't care," she said softly, looking straight at his deep blue eyes. She gulped, suppressing her running tears and continued: "I almost died and all I could think about was you." Even though her tone was even and calm, she was anything but calm at that very moment. So many feelings were raging through her at that very moment. She was full with excitement, and regret; hope and sorrow. She just hoped that he could forgive her. She lowered her eyes straight to his lips, saying, "I just want you." Then she went closer to his face, opening her mouth to kiss him but he just stood still so she ended up just breathing out at his mouth, inviting him. She wanted him so much. She wanted his forgiveness. She wanted to seek comfort in Castle's embrace. She wanted to be hugged, and kissed, and comforted by Castle. She just needed it. She needed to feel him, to feel his lips on hers, to feel his body warming her. She wanted him to sooth her pain. Most of all, she wanted him. But he just stood there paralyzed and silent in front of her so she just waited.

Kate's last words were so sincere and yet they sounded so sexy to him. But it was not only her last words and the fact that he had always been craving to hear her say "I want you" that made him go crazy - it was so much more that. It was the way she said those three words; the need in her voice; the way she was looking at him; the lust in her eyes; and the way she breathed out in his mouth, inviting him. He had been craving to hear her say that exact same words, imagining it a thousand times in so many different scenarios. It was like Kate's words triggered something very deep inside him, a desperate feeling of need. A desperate need for her.

The thunderstorm outside was still raging with a full force - the rain fell heavily and furiously and there were a lightning bolts from time to time. The moment Kate reached to caress Castle's cheek, trailing her fingers along the corner of his mouth, studying the expression on his face, a lightning bolt lit his face as well as the room. At that very moment Castle reacted to her touch, driven all by his instincts and it was like the lightening had struck him because he unleashed all of his passion at once. He pushed her swiftly to the wall, shutting the door along with her body, pinning her tightly against the closed door. Then he really kissed her. A desperate, passionate kiss filled with lust and need for more. All the emotions and desires he had been suppressing for so long exploded and he unleashed all the passion he had held in himself into these kisses.

When Kate's back hit the wall as Castle pounced on her, she was taken aback by his sudden assault. She instantly felt the electricity of his touch, the passion he poured into his kisses. His kisses were so forceful, raw and demanding. She wrapped her hands around his neck, holding him tightly and started kissing him back, returning his kisses with same amount of passion, matching his desperate need for her. She wanted him desperately, too.

Castle had pinned Kate tightly against the door, pressing his body into hers, feeling the cool sensation from her wet clothes. He was kissing her, holding her face with his hands, trying to deepen their kisses. He was kissing her lips demandingly, their tongues fighting for dominance as he was trying to get a good angle, to get more of her. Her lips were salty from tears but were also the sweetest thing in the whole world. So he kissed her passionately and savoured every moment of it. He savoured the feeling of her hands wandering around his neck and back, the sweetness of her mouth, the persistence of her tongue inside his mouth. He savoured the scent of her perfume mixed with a smell of rain. He just kissed her wildly and uncontrollably, enjoying every single kiss. But no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't get enough of her. He just wanted her so desperately and kissed her so roughly that he could hardly breathe.

Their kisses were nothing like the very first kiss that they had shared a while ago - it was so much different. At that moment they were kissing with the same raw passion that they usually put in fighting or teasing each other. They were kissing like their lives depended on it; like they were trying to drive each other crazy with kisses. They were so eager, both ready to tear each other apart. Their kisses were so raw, passionate, and even more furious than the storm that was raging outside. Rick was kissing her roughly and Kate was kissing back every exposed skin her mouth could reach.

As Castle was kissing her lips, he quickly went down and started trailing kisses all over Kate's neck. His mouth moved from her lips down her neck, exploring her skin with his mouth and his tongue. Her skin was damp and salty from the rain and kind of sweet, too. He was tracing wet kisses all over her neck, breathing heavily from excitement. He was already panting, feeling Kate's hands roaming all over his back, tugging slightly his shirt and hearing her own heavy panting. The only thing he could hear was his own hard breathing and her panting. He could tell Kate was getting more and more excited with every passed second judging by the way she was kissing him. Her passionate kisses turned into more forceful ones and she just went wild, kissing his lips, his neck, sucking and biting everything that he had to offer. He kissed back, returning her hot and needy kisses. He was kissing her cool and damp skin, turning it into fire.

She was on fire. Her skin was burning from his sweet and oh-so-hot kisses. She could only hear her own heart, pounding with excitement and could only feel her burning skin. Castle was trailing kisses all over her neck, quickly going down her chest. He was breathing a hot air into her own already burning skin, all quick and eager for more. But then he suddenly slowed down the pace. He moved away his mouth, trying to catch up his breath as he eagerly unbuttoned a few buttons of her shirt. When he just stared at her chest for a few moments, Kate looked down and caught his hand and then put it on her breast near her scar. She was looking at his eyes, giving him a reassuring smile as he caressed her there in silent agreement. The bullet scar meant so much for both of them and they knew it. The scar stood there on her chest as a reminder. A bittersweet reminder. For Castle it was a reminder of how he almost lost her but also of when he finally confessed her about his true feelings. And for Kate the scar meant so very much. It was a bitter reminder of her weakness, of the fact that she wasn't unbreakable no matter how tough she was. But it was also a sweet reminder of the time when Castle finally confessed his feelings for her. But her scar also reminded her of how strong she was - a reminder of what she had overcame to end up where she was. For both of them the scar was a reminder of everything they had been trough together.

After that Kate looked at Castle and held his chin in her hand as she went for a long slow kiss. The kiss was both calm and passionate, gentler than the precious one. When the kiss ended she smiled at him, looking into his blue eyes as she reached out for his hand. She entwined her fingers with his, holding his hand. She looked at him, biting her lower lip from excitement and then she led the way to his bedroom. By the way she was gazing at him, the lust in her eyes, and the determined demeanor she was leading him to his bedroom Castle got very excited, too. Kate stopped by the bed and turned to face him. Even though the storm outside was still raging, their minds were now very peaceful just like a calm after the storm. All the doubts and fears they had before were long gone and forgotten. They were both so determined, sure of what exactly they wanted at that very moment.

Kate looked at Rick, studying his face, the look in his eyes, his thoughts. She couldn't believe that it was finally happening. Castle seemed a bit hesitant but very calm so she reached out to touch him, caressing the corner of his mouth. Then she slowly pulled her own shirt aside, exposing her naked shoulder, all the while she was gazing at him intently. She was ready to take off all of her clothes and get completely naked. She was ready to show him all of herself because she knew very well that he had already seen her truly naked. Castle had seen her best and her worst. He had undressed her soul layer by layer and now she was ready to take her clothes off and stand completely naked, exposing her body as well. She wasn't afraid or hesitant - she was determined because she wanted it so badly. She wanted him. He reached out and carefully moved aside her hair, caressing her back on the way of his path. She shivered slightly from the contact of his hand against her naked spine. But then the gentle touch made her excited, longing for more. Just one simple touch of his hand could make her burn with desire. He carefully put her on the bed like she was fragile piece of art, like he was afraid she would go away. But she wasn't going anywhere. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her. She reached out, caressing his hand gently and then raised her body slightly in order to kiss him. And just like that they started kissing slowly and oh-so-gently. They were both ready for the next step. They didn't want to rush things anymore. They were both very determined and knew exactly what they wanted at that very moment. They just wanted to explore each other and savour every second of it. Even the smallest doubts they have ever had washed away, melted by their sweet tender kisses. They were kissing each other, drifting away from reality into their own world.

They were like that. They teased and nagged with each other constantly. They drove each other crazy. They pushed each other's buttons. They had heated arguments and fights frequently. But no matter how bad they fought they would always run to each other. Because they knew they could count on each other. No matter how much they pushed each other away and hurt each other unconsciously, they just couldn't stay away from each other for too long. It was like an invisible force was drawing them together. Like they belonged together. They both knew that at the end of the day no matter how much they were hurt, they would end up together. Always.


	4. Pandora

**AN: I am not sure if you liked the previous chapter very much because I didn't receive many feedbacks but I decided to continue writing this fiction. So anyway, I don't know about you guys but I just love jealous Beckett. I love watching Beckett getting jealous of Castle and even more, I love writing about it. And even though I had already written one fiction of jealous Beckett in the episode "Nikki Heat" (it's called "The thin line between love and hate" if anyone's interested), I couldn't help but write another one from a different episode. So here's my take on the episodes "Pandora" and "Linchpin". I really hope you would like this fiction. Please write reviews and let me know what you think of it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or its characters**

 **Pandora**

The moment Kate Beckett set her foot at the unknown building she got a bad feeling. She definitely didn't like the feeling of uncertainty that was building up inside her during the elevator ride. She wasn't sure where the stranger guy were taking her and Castle. She was looking around the elevator, wondering what was the place they were going and why the guy brought them there. Little did she know that she wouldn't like even more was what about to come next.

"What is this place?" she asked, getting out of the elevator, looking around the unknown place, wondering where the hell they were.

"Uhhm... Uhh... I don't know. I have no idea," Castle answered back, stuttering his words, looking right back at her.

"Rick Castle at a loss for words?" A stranger woman approached them, catching their attention. "That must be a first for you," she stated.

 _"Who the hell is this woman and why is she talking like she knows Castle so well?"_ Kate wondered.

"Sophia Turner," Castle pronounced her name as if to answer her unspoken question.

"Hello, Rick. Welcome to the CIA."

Kate looked at Castle and then turned her gaze back to Sophia. She didn't know what was going on but she definitely didn't like it. She didn't like the way Castle gazed at Sophia the second she appeared and the way he pronounced her name. It was obvious that somehow he knew her but Kate was curious how exactly they met and for how long did they know each other. Judging by the way they were staring at each other Kate could tell that they definitely had a past together. She was a woman after all and she could detect a certain tension between the two of them. An attraction which was so obvious that even the most oblivious person would detect it. And the way they gazed at each other was just another small hint. Or a big one, whatever. Kate was sure they knew each other but didn't know what exactly had happened between them. How did they met? How long ago? So many questions came to her mind at that moment. She wondered who is Sophia and how the hell Castle knew her. Could she be just one of his fans? Or perhaps just an old friend? Or a lover? She definitely didn't like the last one. But she just couldn't ask Castle straightforwardly, could she? She looked at Sophia from head to toe, wondering what exactly was going on between her and Castle. Sophia wasn't even that pretty so Kate couldn't help but wonder why Castle was staring at her like that. Maybe it was her jealousy talking but Kate thought that Sophia was totally beneath him. Not like that! Metaphorically speaking. Well, at least she hoped she hadn't been beneath him literally, too.

"Secret underground headquarters? This is straight out of James Bond." Castle was blabbering excitedly, looking around at the building with such an admiration. He looked just like a kid in a candy shop.

"Castle, you're avoiding the question," Kate blamed, cutting him short. "Who's Sophia Turner? How do you know her?" Kate just shot her questions at Castle, demanding to know the answers the minute Sophia left the two of them alone. She just had to know what was going on.

"Uh, it's a... long story," he answered, avoiding her question once again. He was getting good at that. Avoiding her questions.

"Well, I'll take the short version," she suggested, eager to know. She just desperately needed some answers. Her imagination took a wild ride and in that moment she could picture anything happening between Castle and Sophia so she just needed to know the truth about what had happened between them. She needed to set her mind at ease once and for all.

"Let me give it to you," Sophia reappeared, carrying two coffees in her hands, walking around like she owned the place, which she probably did... or maybe she didn't but that was not even the point. She just seemed like a kind of woman who did everything like a boss. She was walking slowly and confidently, talking with her sweet soft voice, looking at Castle and smiling at him. Kate didn't know Sophia for so long but she wasn't blind. She could see what Sophia was doing to Castle. That woman was unbelievable! Everything she did was with such a cocky demeanor. It was like she was saying "Oh, look at me, I am a big deal! I just happen to wear those high heels and this tight black dress every single day! Oh, and I can grab Castle's attention the second that I enter the room. Just with a snap of my fingers." Okay, maybe Kate was exaggerating but her jealousy mode got the best of her so she just couldn't help it. And not only that, but Sophia has the guts to smile at her. She looked at her and gave her a small smile. But Sophia's sweet little smile offended Kate. It like she was mocking her, not smiling at her.

"What has it been, twelve years?" Sophia asked and turned toward Castle, giving him the cup of coffee.

"Eleven and half," Castle quickly answered, taking eagerly the cup of coffee from her hand.

 _"He would take anything from her,"_ Kate's subconscious noted. She was observing the two of them very closely. And she noticed so many little things they did. She noticed how quickly Castle answered her because he obviously remembered everything pretty vividly. She noticed the way Sophia instantly grabbed Castle's attention the second she walked in, and the way Castle wasn't taking his eyes off her not even for a quick second. Kate also noticed the way their fingers lightly brushed when he took the cup of coffee from her hands. She actually made a face at that one but quickly put her poker face back on, not wanting to give herself away.

Then Sophia gave the other cup of coffee to her and started explaining her, "Rick and I met when he was just beginning to do research on his first Derrick Storm novel."

 _"Rick?! She's calling him Rick now?"_

"He wanted an up-close-and-personal look at the life of a female CIA agent. So I gave him one," she explained and then turned around, walking forward.

 _"Oh, yeah. I'll bet!"_ Kate wanted to scream but she suppressed her snarky remark that wanted to escape her lips, saving it for herself. Maybe she was making rushed assumptions. Maybe Castle hadn't slept with Sophia, and maybe the up-close-and-personal look wasn't as close as she thought, even though judging by the way they were looking at each other it was very unlikely. She quickly looked at Castle, amazed by his behavior, and he was just drinking his coffee all too innocently. Like he hadn't done anything wrong.

"You're Clara Strike," she asked, astonished by the statement. "The Clara Strike from the Derrick Storm books?" She specified, looking at Sophia, surprised.

"I wouldn't say that I am Clara Strike, but I'd like to think that I inspired Rick in some small way."

That woman was not only cocky but annoying, too. Kate was so annoyed with her. And also very mad at her. But at that moment she was even more furious at Castle. And she got even madder when she saw the look in their eyes. When she noticed the way Castle was staring at Sophia she wished she could somehow gain back his attention even though it seemed almost impossible at that very moment. Because he was preoccupied with Sophia, gawking at her, making googly eyes at her. And Sophia was batting her eyelashes at him, all smiling smugly, staring back intently. It was like Kate didn't exist at all at that very moment. At least not for them. She felt invisible. Kate suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to push Sophia away and stand in front of Castle, and then scream at him: "Helloo! Earth to Castle. I am still here!" But even if she actually did that, he wouldn't notice her anyway. Kate just couldn't see Sophia's charm or why Castle seemed to like her so much. Yes, she was Clara Strike. Big deal! That was not a proper reason for his behavior. Castle was just staring at her and looked like a puppy. A hungry puppy drooling over a delicious bone. And Sophia was that delicious bone. And that just wasn't fair. She hated seeing Castle like that - drooling over Sophia. And drooling over any woman at all. He was supposed to be drooling over her. Not Sophia! She was just amazed by his reaction to Sophia's presence. No, amazed wasn't the exact word to describe her true feelings. More precisely she was grossed out by all of it. Sophia wasn't that pretty and Kate couldn't see why Castle was so fascinated by her.

"Well, that is just fascinating," Kate stated, trying to cover the anger and frustration in her voice. She had to lie and pretend she didn't care for any of it in order to cover her anger. And yet they didn't seem to notice her anyway. And there was that urge again. The urge to scream and rage. She pressed her lips together into a hard thin line, suppressing a scream that wanted to escape her lips.

"You look good," Sophia said to him.

"You, too," he answered back, not hearing a word Kate was saying. Or at least he didn't seem to notice her.

They were just complimenting each other, not paying any attention to her and that was driving her crazy. She could just drop dead and they wouldn't notice. She felt like Sophia was mocking her. Not literally. Kate felt Sophia was mocking her because she could easily grab Castle's attention just with a snap of her fingers. And the fact that Kate became invisible the minute Sophia walked in the room was offending. She definitely didn't like that feeling. She didn't like being ignored especially when Castle was the one ignoring her. At that moment Castle was just looking at Sophia like a kid waiting for a promised sweets. He looked like a puppy, waving its tale vigorously in await to be to be patted by Sophia. And Sophia seemed very ready to pat him and give him all kind of sweets. Probably it was because of her dress. Sophia's tight black dress, showing not only her legs but other parts, too. Kate could dress like that too in order to turn Castle's head but she didn't want that. She didn't dress in revealing outfits just to grab Castle's attention. Not that she haven't done it though. But she wasn't doing it purposely in order to grab his attention or at least not always. She reminded herself that there was nothing she could do about it. She just had to pretend it was fine by her. Pretend that she couldn't care less. Pretend that she didn't notice their bright smiles, their googly eyes and everything else they were doing at that moment.

"Okay," she interrupted them, hoping to make them stop with everything they were doing. She just couldn't pretend anymore. She pretended everything was okay for what, five seconds. It was more than enough. She was losing her patience. "So I hate to interrupt this reunion," she lied. She wished she could interrupt them. Not only that but she wanted to push Sophia aside and scream at her "He's all mine so take you hands off him!" Not that Sophia was touching him or anything. But it was driving her crazy anyway. "But we're being illegally detained, at least I am." She stated, tilting her head, looking at Castle, emphasizing her last words. He definitely didn't look like he was detained illegally. If anything, he looked exactly the opposite of that and she was implying it with her tone and her blaming gaze.

* * *

Kate wasn't sure know how it all happened but it turned out she and Sophia had to work together on the case as a team. And Castle, too. Not to forget him. How could she forget him when he was the reason for all of it. He was the reason for her anger, her jealousy and for everything else. He was the one to blame. She blamed him and his big mouth. And actually Kate knew exactly how it all happened. Not by a chance. It wasn't a coincidence, not at all. No, - it was totally his fault. Because it all happened so suddenly and before Kate realized what was happening Castle had accepted the offer to work with them.

"Can I count on you for your help?" Sophia asked.

And before Kate could open her mouth and politely decline her request Castle quickly answered, "Yes."

He accepted to work with her! Just like that. The nerve he had! He just accepted without asking her permission or her own opinion. He didn't ask her anything. And he had no right to do it. At that moment she just wanted to kill him. Of course he would want to work with Sophia. No wonder why. But that didn't mean that she wanted to work with her. Working together meant she have to put up with the two of them making googly eyes at each other, and all sort of things. And she couldn't bear a lot more. So she just tried to suppress her feelings, pressing her lips into a hard thin line. That was her way of calming down but it wasn't helping very much.

On their way back to the precinct Beckett was driving the car, trying to calm down her nerves. But she was still furious at Castle.

"Do you realize what this means? We're spies. This is like being in a Jason Bourne movie, only he's the bad guy, and the CIA are the good guys." Castle was blabbering excitedly. Of course he was excited to work with Sophia. And he wasn't even ashamed of showing it. Like she haven't had enough already.

"That remains to be seen," she made a comment filled with sarcasm but Castle didn't seem to notice it. Kate definitely didn't see Sophia as the good guy. Just as the woman who was trying to steal Castle away from her.

"Ooh, wait. I've gotta see those direct-dial icons they put on our phones." Castle said excitedly, pulling the phone out of his pocket. He was acting like a child, preoccupied with the toys that Sophia had given him. "Hey. Why is mine a panic button?" He asked, looking at the phones with such a childish curiosity.

"I guess she really does know you well," Kate stated, swallowing hard. It was truly hard to admit it but Sophia obviously knew him very well. She hated that feeling.

"Oaky. You are upset," he observed and she felt his gaze on her.

Of course she was upset. Was he blind or something? Didn't he know her well enough by now? It was all too obvious but of course he was oblivious. And it was all because of Sophia Turner. Because Castle hadn't noticed her lack of enthusiasm to work with Sophia, to put it mildly. In fact, he hadn't noticed the faces she made when he accepted the offer, her irritation when Sophia was around, her frustration and everything else. And no wonder why! Because just minutes before he was oblivious of her presence just because Sophia was there. He was oblivious of her existence at all. But she had to put her poker face back on and act like it was nothing. Pretend she wasn't upset or frustrated.

"I am not upset," she instantly denied. She wasn't going to confess her true feelings. She didn't want him to mock at her or say that she was being jealous. Because she wasn't. Or at least she wasn't going to admit it.

"Then what are you?" He asked, wanting to know the truth.

"I am just a little bit uncomfortable with the new command structure," she answered him. "I don't like keeping secrets from my own people." She explained, trying to sound calm. She tried to tell him the truth, or more precisely she bended it, avoiding to say the reason she was so upset or uncomfortable of the situation as she put it.

"You're sure this isn't about Sophia?" He asked, looking at her. Even though she was looking at the road in front of her she still felt his eyes were on her.

"No, why would it be?" She tried to avoid his question with another question. Answer a question with another question - that was the best way to avoid a question that you don't want to answer so she used it in her defense.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I based a character on her."

That was just a small glitch to the whole picture. Because it was so much more than that. She was jealous. It wouldn't take a genius to know that. And she felt she had every right to be. But she didn't want Castle to know it.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself, Castle. It's not that big an honor," she stated, making it seem like she didn't even like it. Like it was not a big deal.

"Good, because Sophia is on our side. We're on the same team," Castle reassured her.

"And that doesn't concern you? You don't think that that will undermine our unit cohesion?" Kate asked, getting a bit more upset at him because Castle just couldn't see the problem. She didn't want to work with his ex-muse or lover or whatever she was for him. And that was that. But she couldn't say it out loud to Castle so instead she tried to make him see her point. But obviously Castle was just clueless.

"Hey, I am willing to let that slide in the interest of national security."

"Yeah, well, I guess I am, too." She answered. She had to take it and make peace with it. She had no other choice but to face the facts. She had to work with Sophia. No matter how much she hated it. She pressed her lips, making an angry face but she just had to swallow her frustration.

"It's just, I might have been a little bit taken aback to find out that you had researched with someone else." She tried to explain herself.

"Look, it was never the way it is with you and me. I just hung out with her for a while to lend some authenticity to Clara Strike. It was a brief moment a long time ago," Castle said, emphasizing on the word brief. "And besides, Nikki Heat is a far more complex and nuanced character," he explained her and she couldn't help but roll her eyes at him. She wasn't buying what he was trying to sell her and she made it quite obvious by making a face. "She is," he insisted. "And I'm a far more experienced writer, more mature. One out of two is."

"So how long did the two of you hang out?" She asked him and looked at him. He turned his head and looked away. He was avoiding. She knew that very well. Since he was avoiding her question like that it could only mean that there must be some reason. So she kept asking, persisting for an answer. But Castle managed to avoid her question all the way until they reached the elevator. And the ride in the elevator was way too long for both of them. Even though the ride took short time, for Castle was the longest ever. During the ride Kate imagined so many scenarios of how she could get the truth out of him since he wasn't answering her question. Most of them were painful. And in some of them she used her bare hands to get the truth out of him. Forcefully. Then Castle finally spilled the beans.

"A year?" She squeaked angrily at him, getting out of the elevator. "That's your idea of a brief moment?" She asked, walking forward a bit angrily, avoiding to look at him.

She thought that he would say a couple of days, or perhaps a week or two, mostly a couple of months. But a whole year - that was outrageous! She was so mad at him at that very moment. She couldn't even look at him. She wished she could punish him for his false information, for misleading her. For bending the truth and avoiding the question. And for everything else he did. She could clearly see the picture in her mind: "Don't worry Castle, I'll be slapping you on the face just for a brief moment, she would say to him, emphasizing that it would be just a quick and brief moment. You won't even feel it cause it will take just a brief moment." And then she would show him what a brief moment is! But she quickly put that thought away. Tempting as it was, she just had to put it away and concentrate on something else because it was driving her crazy. The more she thought about it the angrier she got.

"I was young, and she had a lot to teach me," he was trying to justify himself but it definitely wasn't working because she got even more pissed off at him than she was before. She couldn't help but imagine them together and the things that Sophia could teach him. It made her feel sick.

"Ha!" she laughed but she didn't find it funny at all. It was more like a forced laugh, filled with sarcasm and desperation and mostly - jealousy. "Yeah, I'll bet," she made a snarky comment. Her snarkiness was just another evidence of her jealousy and it was the final stage of her rage but she was trying really hard to suppress it deep inside her.

"A-about the shadowy world of espionage." Castle specified and she turned to look at him, blocking his way.

"Let me ask you this, how many other women have you semi-stalked in the name of research?" She asked, concerned. And frustrated. Afraid to hear the answer.

"Is this a trick question?" He asked back and she knew he was avoiding.

"You know what? I don't even want to know," she said, deciding it was best to try to forget about it. Not that she could but she at least had to try.

* * *

During the case Kate felt so many emotions at the same time. She felt ignored, she got angry, bored, annoyed, frustrated and most importantly, she got jealous. It was enough she had to put up with Castle and Sophia working together as a team. Most importantly she had to put up with being constantly ignored, and watch them make googly eyes at each other. And the most horrible of all was watching them theorize together. The nerve they had to do it right in front of her! And plus, that was their thing. Castle's and hers. But Sophia stole that from her, too. Sophia had reappeared in his life and was about to steal her Castle. Okay maybe he wasn't hers. Not yet, at least. But she had no right to do it. And the thing she hated the most was the fact that Castle was always watching Sophia. Truly and constantly. He had been observing every single move of her body, soaking up every word she said. She couldn't believe him. He was constantly gawking at her, staring at her like a piece of art. Like he was afraid that if looked away she would be gone. _"Yeah, in my dreams,"_ Kate noted secretly. And not only that but he also was listening to her so intently, like her words were full of wisdom. And she hated that. She hated all of it but had to bear it all. She really wished Sophia was gone, or get lost or whatever but Kate knew very well she wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

 **Linchpin**

Kate knew that Castle liked her. She was well aware of that. She also knew that he would check her out from time to time. Okay, maybe even constantly... All the time. She had noticed that every time she bent down to write something on the murder board Castle would secretly stare at her ass. He would constantly check her out, and she would notice the content smile on his face when he was doing it, obviously enjoying the view. She couldn't say that she minded though. He would just stare at her when she was writing her paperwork, undressing her shamelessly with his eyes. He had undressed her in every possible way. She was all aware of these little things Castle did and honestly she liked all of them. She was flattered by the attention she got from him. All that made her feel beautiful and sexy. Castle just made her feel special. Like the most gorgeous woman in the whole world. From all women he knew he had chosen to write a whole book about her and even dedicate it to her. Even though she had always denied and claimed exactly the opposite she liked it. She liked the attention. Castle made her feel special, unique or as he had described her in the dedication of his first book - extraordinary. That was how she felt he saw her. But after she had understood that she wasn't the only muse, Kate felt like nothing. Like another one of the list. Ordinary. She even felt betrayed by him. She knew he had his past and other women but it still came as a surprise to find that he had other muses, too. A very unpleasant one at that. And so she felt really insecure. She wasn't certain of Castle's feelings anymore. Sophia wasn't part of the deal. Castle was supposed to be in love with her. He was supposed to wait for her but it became less likely. Not after Sophia had reappeared in his life. And had turned it upside down. She was the Clara Strike. Kate couldn't compete with her. So she just had to suck it up and pretend she didn't care.

* * *

"So you slept with her," she finally had the courage to ask him directly. After the scene with Sophia it was kind of obvious though. And it wasn't like Kate hadn't suspected it before. Because she had. But she wasn't sure and till the very last second she hoped it wasn't true. She hoped that Castle hadn't slept with Sophia. Hope dies last, as they say.

"Yeah. Yeah, I slept with her," Castle confirmed what she already suspected. And the last spring of hope died when he confirmed what she was so afraid of. So she was indeed beneath him. Not only metaphorically but literally, too. Or more likely on top. Kate didn't even want to think about it because it made her feel sick.

"Have there been others?" She asked, wondering exactly how many other women Castle had been shadowing, calling them his muses and who knows what else.

"Women?" He asked without even looking at her.

"Muses," she answered back.

"No. Why?"

"I just wanted to see how big the club was. That's all," she answered just as the elevator's door opened. Right on time. She got out of the elevator even before Castle, not looking at him. She just couldn't look at him, not at that very moment. Not when she was so angry at him. She hated it when Castle called her his muse but what she hated even more was the fact that she wasn't the only one. She had always thought that he was shadowing her and only her. She hadn't even thought about his previous muses. She knew Castle had other women but not muses. She thought she was special. He was just like that. He made her feel special. _"Yeah, I bet Sophia felt the same way,"_ her subconscious mocked her. She didn't want to think about it but her mind refused to let it go. It was driving her crazy. She just hated Sophia Turner. She hated her guts. And it wasn't like she hated every woman Castle had dated or had ever met. Not at all. Well, she just happened to dislike all of them very strongly. But that was just a pure coincidence. Take Natalie Rhodes and Serena Kaye for instance. Natalie Rhodes was just one pretentious actress who was imitating her or at least she had tried. And Serena Kaye was one cocky, stubborn know-it-all. How could she like them. Castle liked Natalie just because she was the fictional version her, and he liked Serena because of her assets, as he put it. But that was that - he just liked them. But Sophia Turner was different because he had past with her. And he had already slept with her.

"Hey, guys. What do you got?" She asked Ryan and Esposito, trying to take her mind off it.

"Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa," Castle followed her and stood right in front of her. "First off, there is no club," Castle started justifying himself once again. "And second, we're off the case if you recall."

"We're off their case. I still have a murder to solve," she said to him.

And then they started discussing the case. Kate was talking about the case when she noticed the odd looks that Ryan and Esposito were giving her. She was explaining herself a bit too passionately because well, she was still mad at Castle when she noticed where exactly she was standing. That was when it hit her. She was at the wrong desk. She rolled her eyes at her silly mistake and made no further comment. She continued talking about the case as if nothing had happened. So she missed her own desk. Big deal! They were all looking at her like she had done something unforgivable. _"Shut up,"_ she wanted to yell at them all even though they didn't say a thing about it. But their looks were enough. It was not her fault that she got so mad she didn't even notice which desk she was standing at. It was totally Castle's fault. He was the one to blame because he was driving her crazy. So crazy she just couldn't think straight. And great! Everyone around were staring at them. And after that scene with Castle everyone must have understood that she and Castle were having an argument. Just great! Terrific! She hoped that at least they enjoyed the free show. The way Ryan and Espo were watching her was uncanny. They didn't say anything about her mistake but she still wanted to kill someone. Because she was furious. But they gave her the information about the case and left, saving themselves. Lucky them! One murder prevented. Good for them and bad for Castle because he was still there. And she was mad at him after all. He was the one she wished she could kill. But thank God her phone rang and saved her from killing someone out of rage. It was Laine and she reported that the body had never arrived at the morgue. So she and Castle had to go to the morgue. And she still hadn't forgotten her anger at Castle. He was there right next to her, reminding her about what he had said just minutes ago. Reminding her that he had slept with Sophia. And that he had confessed it so casually like it was nothing. So she still wanted to kill him. _"Don't get any wishful thoughts,"_ she scolded herself. _"I've got a murder to solve not commit one,"_ she reminded herself as she tried to calm down.

The walk to the morgue was way too long. The longest ever. And it was filled with disappointed sighs and huffs from Kate's side. She just kept thinking about the whole situation with Sophia. She couldn't let it go. Castle had slept with her. The thought of it still drove her crazy. Castle from the other hand was silent. Perhaps he was thinking. _"Yeah, thinking about her,"_ Kate's subconscious mocked her and she hissed involuntary. Castle didn't say a thing. He didn't even turn around to look at her. He was oddly quiet all the way till they reached the room.

"They intercepted it at transport. Apparently, they had a court order," Laine said, entering the room, and handed her the document to see for herself.

"That's impossible. How could they get a court order that fast?" Castle asked, going near Kate.

"I don't know. Maybe you should ask your girlfriend," Kate stated angrily without even looking at him. Nitpicking was the least she could do because she felt she had every right to do it.

"Girlfriend?" Laine asked, looking questionably at Castle.

"Yes, okay. We slept together," he said loudly, looking her way. "It was a long time ago. What's the big deal?" He asked, the anger in his voice so sharp it could cut.

"There is no big deal!" She answered back angrily with high pitched voice. "Sleep with whoever you want," she exclaimed angrily, irritated by him. "The more the merrier!" She really wanted to sound calm but her voice obviously wasn't at the same wave as her mind. The minute her words escaped her mouth she realized how they sounded like. The anger and annoyance in her tone gave it all away. She sounded jealous even to herself. And pathetic. At that moment someone cleared his throat and Kate turned around and saw Alexis standing there. Oh, crap! She had appeared out of nowhere.

"I have those, uh, toxicology reports you wanted," Alexis said to Laine, after clearing her voice.

"Oh, yes. Just set them there, sweetie. Thank you." Laine answered Alexis as Kate turned around, shamed.

It was bad enough that Laine was there and had to witness their fight but putting her foot in her mouth in front of Alexis was a whole new matter of embarrassment. She felt so silly at that very moment. It was so awkward. The longest and the most awkward moment in her entire life. She looked at Laine and gave her a dirty look for not warning her that Alexis was there but Laine answered her back with a death glare. Then Kate looked at Castle and saw his face - and it wasn't helping at all. He was looking down sullenly, obviously very embarrassed. The only words Kate could hear in her mind in that very moment were her own. "The more the merrier. The more the merrier." These pathetic words filled with jealousy went on and on in her brain to make her feel even more uncomfortable. She felt like her own words were mocking her and she regretted so much for saying them.


	5. To Love and Die in LA

**AN: Thank you all for your comments and guidance, I really appreciate it. But I have to say that as I have written, this is my interpretation of the scenes and their thoughts in them and the whole retelling of the scene is as a background. You see, I can't just put their thoughts without saying in which scene is happening and without describing the background and including their lines because it wouldn't make much sense. I tried to do less retelling and more thoughts but that's the best I can do. Please write reviews to let me know what you think about it. What you liked about it, what's the best and what you didn't like at all. Also, you could share what's your favorite scene that you'd like to read and I might grant some of your wishes. So anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Just let me know.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or its characters**

 **To Love and Die in L.A.**

Kate Beckett knew she had made a mistake but she was trying to play it cool. She knew that it would be a mistake to stay in the same suite as Castle. She knew it all along. She was sure that she would regret it. Even though Castle had reassured her that his intentions were pure she still had her worries. It was Castle after all and his intentions usually were never as pure as he said. But could she blame him? Not really, because her intentions were far from pure as well. And that exactly was the problem. "Worried you can't control yourself when we're alone," Castle had teased her. She remembered his words clearly in her head. How could she forget? She knew he was only joking but she thought that he was right. But she answered him that it's him she was worried about. And that was only half-true. She lied to him, sacred even to think about it. But she was going to be all alone in one room with Castle. It wasn't like she hadn't spent time with Castle all alone but now things were a bit different. Now they were in a hotel room, they were all alone and she just could stop thinking about it. Just the thought of being all alone in one room with Castle made her heart skip a beat.

But she was trying to act calm and not to show her emotions. She was sitting on the couch with Castle, talking about the case. And she was trying to keep it cool, make their conversation seem casual. They were just discussing the case - nothing unusual in that - but the whole situation was a bit different. And it was her own fault she was in this situation in the first place. She blamed herself because she made so many mistakes that same day. She knew it was a big mistake to open up to Castle about Royce, to let her guard down. But she did it anyway. And there she was, talking about Royce with Castle, telling him about her past.

"I can't believe I won't see him again," she said, looking down, thinking, remembering Royce and all the things he did and said to her. She felt so vulnerable even just talking about him, sharing her memories with Castle. Showing her true emotions in front of Castle, letting her guard down even for brief moment. It felt liberating. She had always hid her true feeling and held her emotions at bay, never letting her guard down. But that night was different. She just wanted to share with somebody, knowing that Castle would support her in everything.

And then Kate realized she made another mistake by sitting so close to Castle on the couch. And it wasn't until he leaned comfortable on the couch very close to her when she realized it.

"Do you know what I thought when I first met you?" he asked, looking at her.

"Hm?" She looked at him, all in ears to hear what he was about to say. That moment the mood changed and everything got so serious.

"That you were a mystery I was never gonna solve." He said, not breaking the eye contact with her as she fiddle with her hair nervously. "Even now, after spending all this time with you, I'm... I'm still amazed at the depths of your strength," he was talking, making pauses as she was getting more and more nervous with every passed second and every word he said. "And your heart." He said as she smiled nervously and looked down to avoid his gaze. When he was talking he seemed way too serious. Not the usual playful Castle she knew. There wasn't any trace of him. His words, his voice, his face - everything was so serious and it made her nervous. "And your hotness," he added as she quickly looked at him. And there it was. The Castle she knew so very well. The playful side of him. He always had a way of making her smile.

He thinks I am hot, Kate mulled over the thought in her head and couldn't help but smile. Even though she already knew his opinion about her it was kind of strange and flattering to hear him say it out loud. She felt like a school girl. But she liked it. She liked the feeling a lot.

"You are not so bad yourself, Castle." She said and smiled at him and then she felt silent. There was nothing more to say. She just gazed at him silently.

She knew she made a mistake when she saw the sudden change on his face. Castle fell silent, too. And his expression suddenly changed. Just a moments ago he was staring blankly at her, talking to her until his blue eyes lingered on her face. His playful smile slowly faded away and his gaze turned into an intense stare. He just stared at her and she felt he could see right through her. Like he could hear her thoughts. It felt like he was stealing her thoughts, peeling her layers, staring at her soul. Because it wasn't just a quick glance - it was so much more than that. His intense gaze lasted more than just a few seconds. For her it felt like an eternity. She could see the way he was gazing at her, the way his deep blue eyes darkened, the way his pupils grew with desire. And she knew that look very well. She knew him so well by now that she could tell what he was thinking about. She could see clearly the carnal desire overtaking him, growing in him within seconds. He wasn't even trying to hide it or pretend. He was acting baldly and directly, staring at her mouth, making his intentions pure as water. And maybe he could see clearly her intentions, too. Because she was just seconds away from loosing herself into him. But she had to fight the urge to lose herself in her own desires, to lose herself in his arms, his lips, his body.

The way he was looking at her, the sparkle of his deep blue eyes, the longing. His eyes were pleading her to stay there with him. But she had to break away from his intense stare so she gulped nervously, looked down and smiled shyly at him. Because she knew that if she looked in his eyes just a little bit longer she would say something she shouldn't or she would do something she wasn't ready for. She was sure of it. She could easily do something stupid and half-baked. So she just had to look away from him and escape.

"I should go. It's late. Good night." She said it so quietly and uncertainly, her words barely a whisper. She didn't want him to detect the raspiness in her voice, the burning desire inside her.

"Kate," he said her name and she could feel his stare, his eyes raking her body.

The way he pronounced her name made her stomach flutter. And she knew very well what he was gonna say. "Kate, please don't go" or "Kate, stay a little longer". But if she stayed even a second longer she knew she wouldn't be able to control herself. It took all of her will to say:

"Goodnight Castle."

And then she ran away. She hid in her room like a small kid. Like a complete coward. Like a child who had done something wrong and was hiding in his room to escape from troubles. The same way she ran away from the room, from Castle, from his sight. She wanted to run away from her own thoughts and desires, too. To lock them out. But they were so hard to ignore.

She closed the door and leaned on it. "Come one, get a grip of yourself!" Kate scolded herself as she buried her face in her hands. "You are the adult in this relationship after all. Relationship. Seriously?! I meant partnership. Because Castle is my partner." What's the matter with me, she wondered. She just couldn't recognize herself. Have she been drinking Castle's Kool-Aid? She always scolded him for acting like a twelve-year-old but now she felt that way. She felt like a teenager. A horny one, full with hormones she couldn't control. To say she wanted him badly would be understatement because she had been craving for him ever since the day she met him. Sure she found him annoying and childish but she couldn't deny she had wondered what would be like to sleep with him. Multiple times at that.

She felt such an intense attraction to him. Attraction that was so strong and raw and overwhelming that she just wanted to embrace it. But she had to fight it. She had to fight against the overwhelming desire to go back to the room, back to Castle and then just kiss him. And touch him. And do things to him that she had been dreaming of doing ever since she met him. And oh God, she must fight it. Erase the picture from her mind. Forget about it. But how could she when just a few minutes ago she was so close of kissing him? She couldn't forget it just like that. With a snap of a finger. And she didn't really want to. Why the hell should she forget?

She was standing barefoot on the cold floor, thinking. She needed to cool off. She needed to think things through. What should she do? A million scenarios ran through her head. She could see how she would open the door and Castle would be standing there, waiting for her. She imagined how she would just throw herself in his arms and kiss him. She would let him take her to bed and make love to her. That was what she wanted so desperately; what she needed. She needed him. But what if she opened the door and threw herself in his arms and he wouldn't take her? If he just didn't want her? She imagined that too. And she knew she wouldn't bare being rejected. But she could always say she just wanted to talk to him and just stay with him. She didn't have to tell him the true reason she went back. She could hide her desire and the fact that she needed him. But what if she opened the door and he wasn't there at all? That was an option, too. He might not wait for her there forever. So many options and different scenarios were running through her mind and yet she didn't know what to do. She wasn't sure how would Castle react if she went back. And if he be still there at all. Would he kiss her and touch her? Return her kisses with the same passion and desire? Or would he push her away? She was so confused and so scared. Scared of the results that might occur. Of the consequences. Scared that things could get complicated. Scared that Castle could push her away. She just didn't know what to do. The coldness from the floor was welcomed by her hot burning body. She just had to calm down and cool off. Or she could just open the door and indulge to the burning desire deep inside her. To go back and burn along with Castle. Would it be a mistake if she opened the door and just go? Did she want that all because she felt so vulnerable? She was in pain and she wanted to soothe it somehow. She wanted Castle to sooth her pain, make her forget. She wanted to relive the stress and just let it go. She needed a relief. But did she want Castle only for his body or was it so much more than that? Would there be consequences, would it make things more complicated than they already were? She wasn't fully ready, didn't know the answer just yet. She was having an inner battle. She just wanted to go back and it seemed the right thing to do. But then again she thought it would be way better just to stay there and ignore the craving she felt. Which was right and which was wrong? And how could something seem so right and so wrong at the same time? She was way too emotional to think straight. She just couldn't think straight. But she didn't want to. All she knew was she wanted him. The desire she was feeling was overwhelming. She had held that burning desire deep inside her for so long. She had been telling herself it was not real, pretending it didn't exist, lying to herself it was just a pure lust. Scared even to think that it was more than that. And hell, she was thinking way too much. She just wanted Castle. That was that! She didn't need a reason to go back.

No matter how hard she tried to suppress her desire the picture in her mind kept showing up, hunting her. She just couldn't stop thinking about it. There was only one door separating her and Castle. Just one door away from him, one obstacle she could easily erase. She reached for the door handle but hesitated for a moment. So many what ifs were running through her head. But she didn't want to wonder what if. She had to act immediately. She thought what the hell. And that was that. There's only one way to find out, she thought to herself as she opened the door determined, with only one thing in her mind - him.

She looked around but Castle wasn't there. He was gone. He didn't wait for her. It took her too much time to decide what to do and she missed her chance. She was so disappointed and relieved at the same time. She was disappointed he wasn't there and relieved that she didn't do anything stupid. No, not tonight, she thought to herself. She took a deep breath, thinking that maybe that was the way it was meant to be. Maybe she didn't do the right thing going back. Because everything had to be special, not like that. It had to be in the right moment and at the right time. And mostly - for the right reasons. Not because she felt vulnerable, sad, and upset. If she was to kiss Castle and be with him it had to be special. And she had to be sure about it. One hundred percent sure. She got back in her room and closed the door. She knew Castle was in his room and she could easily go there and do the things she intended to do. She closed her eyes, shaking her head. No, she shouldn't. Castle wasn't there, waiting for her and maybe that was a sign. A sign from the universe as Castle would say. A sign that she would mistake a mistake by going to his room. So she suppressed that tempting thought and went to bed.


	6. Knockdown

**AN: Since the last chapters were from Kate's perspective I made that one from Castle's. I hope you like it. Please write reviews and let me know what you think.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or its characters**

 **Knockdown**

Things usually don't go according to plan. Richard Castle knew that very well. But at that moment Beckett said that she wanted a plan. And plus, she said that she was open to dumb ideas. And Castle had one in mind. It was his job to make stuff up after all so he could easily make something up. It was no problem at all. Actually, when it came to dumb ideas he could say he was a master of it. Wait, that didn't sound like something to brag about. But bragging or not, he was the one who came up with the whole idea. And he could say he convinced Kate pretty easily. She must have been quite desperate to agree with his dumb plan. It wasn't that stupid though. The problem was that the stakes were too high. And the plan was to pretend they were a couple that had too much to drink and distract the guard in order to get close enough. But the whole thing definitely didn't go as smooth as he had planned it.

First, they got out of the car and started working on the plan, pretending to be drunk. He caught Kate in an embrace as they both started laughing, acting like a drunk couple. Kate caught his jacket and they started walking toward the guard very slowly, swaying side to side as they had drank way too much. Hearing Kate's laugh and holding her so close to him, Castle could easily forget that they were on a mission. And actually, he almost forgot that it was just a pretend. They were just undercover and it was not for real. Even though he had dreamed about it. Multiple times. But it wasn't his fault at all. It was all Kate's fault. She was the one to blame. She and her closeness. He had been close to her before but not like that. Not so close to him, and not undercover. But now they were. And they had to act like a couple. Convincingly at that. Because the stakes were too high to fail in their mission.

So Rick acted along, laughing with Kate, holding her with his arm. And she was so very close to him. He was finding it very hard to concentrate when she was pushing herself into his arms, swaying around so close next to him. And even more, when she had caught his jacket with her left hand and was pulling it lightly as she walked. And she definitely didn't make it any better for him when she put her right hand on his waist, holding him tightly. Her hair was lightly brushing his chin, tickling him as they walked around slowly. And he knew he should probably be frustrated or at least annoyed with that light tickle but he couldn't help it. He actually liked it and he couldn't help but enjoy their closeness. Because she was standing way too close to him. So close he could smell her scent of perfume which was divine. She smelled like cherries, especially her hair. He couldn't help but wonder if she smelled so sweet what would her lips taste like. Perhaps something sweeter? Sweeter than cherries? Strawberries? Sugar? He just wanted to try and find out. But that wasn't not the time to think about stuff like that. Because he needed to concentrate.

 _"Just concentrate on the plan, not on her lips or her hair. Or anything else,"_ he told himself.

But as they were slowly walking toward the building, acting all drunk pretty convincingly, the guard saw them and started walking right toward them. Castle wasn't sure if the guard suspected something or he just wanted to check them for himself. But Castle's heart stared pounding, both from excitement and worry that their cover wasn't good enough.

"He is not buying it, Castle."

Kate's words came out so close to his ear that he felt how she moved her head slightly on his shoulder, just whispering the words quietly. And even though she was still laughing he detected the worry in her voice. But he was freaking out, too. The guard was coming closer and closer to them with each step and he just didn't know what to do. All he knew was that he had to do something and he had to act very fast. He didn't have time to think anything through. Not enough time to think for a plan. And they didn't make any back up plan.

 _"Damn it! We should have thought of a plan B!"_ he scolded himself for not thinking things through when he had to. _"Time to improvise. Think fast,"_ he encouraged himself, trying to come up with a new plan in a matter of seconds.

He knew that initially the plan was to pretend they were a couple but it definitely didn't include touching or kissing or making out. Actually he wasn't sure what he was allowed to do since they were acting as a couple. Were all these things off the table? They hadn't talked about it thoroughly so he didn't know exactly. But ultimately he had to act fast in order to keep their cover. He didn't want to blow things up. And things were definitely going south because the guard was coming their way, probably suspecting something. And at that very dangerous moment there was only one thing that came to Castle's mind. He didn't stop to consider it even for a second. What's to consider when he knew that she would probably slap him or even worse? But he was willing to take the risk anyway because there was gonna be a show and that was the only thing he was sure of. And that was exactly what he needed at the moment - a distraction to fool the guard. And he thought that probably Beckett would understand because they were undercover after all. When he saw that Kate stopped walking and reached out for her gun he quickly stopped her, acting all by instinct. He just grabbed her hand by the wrist, pulling it away from the gun. Because using her gun meant that she was gonna blow up their cover. And he couldn't let that happen. So he pulled her closer, grabbing her by the neck as he gazed at her. Her smile quickly faded away seeing what he was about to do. But still he tried to warn her with his eyes what he indented to do to her. Ask her permission somehow.

 _"Sorry, Beckett,"_ he was saying with his eyes or at least hoped she would understand. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Not that it was desperate or unfortunate for him because he didn't mind it at all. It was quite the opposite. But that was what he was ready to tell Beckett to justify himself. After all, he couldn't just tell her that he had been dreaming of kissing her ever since he met her.

The guard was close enough so there was no time to waste for her permission or for anything else. He just went closer to her and her laugh stopped abruptly when he leaned and kissed her. He kissed her slowly, buying them both time to think. He just hoped they would fool the guard and make him walk away. He intended to kiss her very quickly but his lips lingered on her mouth, enjoying the sweet taste of her lips. And plus, she relaxed in his arms a bit and so he let go of her arm, moving his hand around her back. The kiss was just for a brief moment because she pulled herself away from him after a few seconds.

 _"Oaky, who am I fooling? I am not sorry at all. Not even a bit... Quite the opposite."_

Kate was obviously a bit startled by his sudden assault since she got away so quickly. He saw that she looked at him, her mouth half-opened, her cheeks a bit flushed. She was definitely shocked, he could tell. Probably because of what he did.

 _"Wow!"_ He thought to himself, looking at her. She looked amazing. She never looked so hot like that before. Not that she didn't look good and sexy as hell always but now she was just mesmerizing.

She was standing there, in front of him, gazing into his eyes but he couldn't tell what she was thinking. And in a matter of seconds he saw how she took a quick glance at the guard and then she leaned closer and kissed him. He thought she was kissing him only because of the fact that they were undercover. He was pretty convinced of it because while she was kissing him she was also watching over him, looking at the guard. So he told himself she was doing it only for distraction. To keep their undercover on. And that was that. There was nothing more than that. And he had no illusions about it. He was sure of it until she moaned into his mouth as to prove him wrong. Because at first she was kissing him lightly, barely brushing his lips like she was doing it on pretend, just to fool the guard but then she started kissing him more deeply and more passionately. Once she started she really got into it. And oh boy, did she get into it! She just moaned into his mouth, roaming her hands all over his body. So he got into it, too. He caught her by the neck, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. She was kissing him so passionately that he just got way too caught up in the moment. Nothing else mattered anymore, everything else was in a blur. The only thing he felt was her lips against his mouth, the heat of her body, her hands roaming around his head, stroking his hair and her sweet tongue, gently caressing his. She was spinning him around or maybe the world started spinning. He just wasn't sure because he felt like he was flying freely, lost in the moment of the kiss. He forgot about the guard, about their undercover, their mission; about the whole plan. He forgot everything. He was in a haze until she let go of him and he quickly opened his eyes, surprised by the sudden loss of contact. And mostly by the loss of her body and her sweet lips. When he looked at Kate he saw how she knocked out the guard with her gun. And the way she knocked him out!

"That was amazing," he said an awe, the words just slipping out of his mouth without any consideration. But suddenly she turned and looked at him questionably, looking a bit shocked. And a bit embarrassed. Probably by his statement.

"The-the way you knocked him out, I mean. It was..." He muttered, still thinking about the kiss.

Actually he didn't even know what he meant. It was really amazing the way she knocked that guard down and he was very impressed by her. But the kiss was also amazing. And of course he meant the kiss. But thanks to his mouth and his usual blabbering he had earned a weird look from her. Although thanks to his mouth he also had earned a kiss so no complains about that. But he didn't want to scare her with his statement so he lied. It was not a problem because it was partly true. Both were amazing. Especially the kiss. The kiss definitely beats everything else. But Beckett didn't need to know that. The kiss was all he could think about at that moment. And probably forever. Actually, amazing didn't begin to describe the way he felt at that moment and the way she kissed him. It was beyond amazing.

"Let's go. Yeah," she said, bossing him around as usual. Then she turned around and walked away. But Castle couldn't follow her immediately on her command because he needed a minute to bring himself back to his senses.

 _"Oh my God, she kissed me! Kate kissed me back!"_ He thought, breathing out heavily, putting his hands on his mouth, remembering the sweet kiss which he could still taste. He still couldn't believe it. It was like a dream come true. Kate just took his breath away _._

 _"Wait a minute. Did she say "Yeah" or was it my imagination? Did she actually confirmed that it was amazing for her as well?."_ He didn't know if he heard right but he knew for sure that she was breathing heavily when she said it.And plus, when she turned around to face him and gave him the weird look, her cheeks were flushed and her usually pink lips were red from the kiss. From their kiss!

Castle knew that Kate knocked down the guard but actually he was the one who got knocked down by her. Because she definitely knocked him down with that kiss. But he needed to stop thinking about the kiss and follow her so he quickly ran off, trying to catch up with her. He was really looking forward for the next time that they gonna have to go undercover.

 **Note: Since I haven't received any suggestions for the next chapter or for any episode that you'd like me to write this is going to be the last chapter of the fiction. Please let me know what you think of this last chapter. Thank you all in advance.**


	7. The Limey

**AN: Dear readers, thank you very much for your comments - I read them and really appreciate each one of them. So,** **beastfan** **suggested to make another chapter about "The Limey" and since it doesn't say Rick's or Kate's point of view I made it from Rick's. As for "Always" - I already written about it and it is in chapter three if you haven't noticed. This is going to be the last chapter unless someone write which other episode he'd like me to write about. And if there aren't any wishes then it's settled - it all depends on you guys. Please let me know what you think about this one. I am still open for new ideas and suggestions. I am ready to fulfill anyone's wish and I mean for the writing, of course. So, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or its characters**

 **The Limey**

It all started with a towel. Well, actually it was just a bit before that. It started when he understood that Beckett remembered everything about the shooting. She remembered every second of it, and Castle had heard her saying the exact same words during the interrogation. So she must have remembered it all - the gunshot, his soothing words to her. She remembered his words. His confession. His love. And she hadn't said anything about it. Which meant one thing - she couldn't return his feelings, didn't feel the same way. It felt like she was giving it back to him like unwanted gift, not wanting his love. Denying him every right to talk to her, to convince her in any way. And he felt betrayed by her. He had been waiting for her for so long and now she didn't want him. That must be it since she hadn't said a word about his confession and about the fact that she knew. And he felt like a fool. She remembered everything and had been hiding the news from him for so long. And the most devastating of all - she had been lying to him. She lied him in the face, saying she didn't remember anything when she actually did.

So Castle got depressed when he found out. Actually he was heartbroken. He went through denial and anger. And the third stage was a payback. He felt that he had every right to be mad at Kate and torture her like that. To make her jealous. To make her see what she had missed. Make her suffer a bit just like she did. He had every right to make her jealous but she definitely did not. She had no right to make him jealous. Like he hadn't suffered enough already. And it all started with the case where she met him. Inspector Colin Hunt. And Castle hated this guy. Castle himself had abs and muscle body but didn't need to show off with it just to get Kate's attention. And it was kind of obvious that the Inspector did it on purpose. He had the nerve to do such inappropriate thing when he and Kate were at his house - the Inspector purposely dropped his towel in front of Kate. And he was so smug about it. That was definitely something Castle didn't want to see. Like ever. At all. And at least he had the decency to cover Kate's eyes because he was a gentleman after all. Unlike the Inspector . Though Kate didn't look right away but perhaps she didn't have enough time to react. So he quickly blocked her view with his hand and then he covered his own. Ladies are always first. And he did it because if Kate was going to see somebody naked then that someone was going to be him. And that man obviously had no respect of her, no decency at all. And he had nothing to hide, literally. And plus, Castle could show off with is body, too. If he wanted to he definitely could do it just to show off in front of Kate. Okay, lately he wasn't in shape but he could easily get in shape and make abs and then show off with it. And that British accent of his. He just hated this guy more and more with every passed second. Castle himself could talk in British accent, too. Well, maybe he could fake a British accent but it was almost the same thing. In fact, he could talk with any fake accent he wanted to. But he didn't need to talk in any fake accent just to work with Kate. But when that stupid British Inspector wanted to get involved in the case, in their case, Kate agreed. Just like that. No further questions, no objections. Well, he for one objected. But she didn't even asked him if it was okay for him. And even Captain Gates let him in the case so easily and obviously liked the guy immediately. He truthfully didn't see a reason why she liked him. He sincerely thought that woman didn't like anybody but it was obviously just him since she let the British guy in the case without any objections.

Actually, the guy was from Scotland. And Castle honestly thought it would be best if Colin Hunt or whatever his name was just went back to his country and leave Kate alone. But no, he had to work along with them and Castle had to see them work together day after day. So he just drew apart from Kate, leaving them alone more often. He didn't want to sit there and watch them together. He just couldn't stand to be in the precinct and pretend he didn't see the way she was looking at him. So he left them more often, trying to leave her space, hoping she would open her eyes and see him. Because he had waited enough for her. So he went out on dates, letting her know that he was having a good time with another woman. Sometimes even rubbing her nose at it. But that Scottish guy didn't leave her alone even for a second and he was always there. And he obviously came along just to ruin Castle's plans and make them harder to complete. How was he supposed to make Kate jealous of the flight attendant that he was seeing when he was the one who suffered from jealousy? So Castle thought that Colin Hunt should have left Kate alone. A long time ago. Because she was his after all. And the Inspector had no right to work with her, to woo her, or even to talk to her and whatever else they did together. But Castle didn't need to think about it. He have been patient enough and had been waiting for Kate for years. For so many years. And just when he was so close of finally getting her he had to find out the truth. But he didn't want to give up just yet. He just couldn't bear the thought that she might end up with someone else. So he decided to fight. To make her jealous, to open her eyes. To make her see that what she needed was right in front of her eyes. And he meant himself, of course. Not the stupid Inspector. And Castle was trying to make her see that in every possible way. Saying that they weren't at sync like they used to be. Bragging about his dates. He had seen her go out with other men and it was painful enough. He had suffered enough. He couldn't be at the precinct, getting his hopes up. Waiting for her. Not when Colin Hunt was around.

But after all, Castle thought that his plan to make her jealous was working well since she used sarcasm. When he told her he had had lunch with the flight attendant and that he loved the last night special she answered: "Yeah, I'll bet!" And she used sarcasm, plus, her angry jealous tone. And Kate was sarcastic very rarely mostly when she was jealous. Just like when she was jealous of Sophia Turner from the CIA. She used the exact same line and the same jealous tone. And her jealousy was a good sign. It meant that there was still hope for them. It meant he hadn't been fooling himself for the past few years. It meant that at least she had some feelings for him and that was enough. For him it meant hope. So the plan to make her jealous was working smoothly until something unexpected happened. And ruined his foolproof plan. For the case, not for the jealousy thing. But actually it did ruin everything else, too.

It happened when he saw her at the precinct, dressed and ready to go to the party. She had no right to dress like that. The plan was for him to make her jealous, not the other way around. But how could he not be jealous after seeing her dressed like that? With that tight and sexy, revealing, low-cut dress. Kate had already seen Colin Hunt naked so what did she intended to do - return the favor? The dress was so low-cut that showed her cleavage and left nothing to the imagination. She was practically naked with that dress! Castle felt really bad knowing that she was dressed like that for another guy. And not for him. Kate looked stunning and yet she wasn't dressed liked that for him and that wasn't fair. He wouldn't get to see her like that since she was going with Hunt, not with him. She had no right to do that. Doing such mean things to him had to be forbidden by law. She had to be forbidden to go out with that kind of a dress with another man. Yes, there definitely should be a law or something. Because that was like their special thing. Just like finishing each other's sentences. She usually dressed like that just to turn his head. And he didn't mind it at all. In fact, he liked it. That was their thing - she would tease him with her reveling outfits and he'd do it with his banter. It was what they did - teased each other. But the dress was just the tip of the iceberg. What he couldn't bear was that she was going undercover with Hunt. And not with him. Because that really was their thing. To go undercover, pretend they are a couple. It was more likely to be with someone like him than with someone with a stupid accent. And plus, he could fake any accent he wanted if that was what she really wanted him to do.

To go undercover with that guy! How could she be so cruel? Kate didn't have a heart. She didn't have any mercy. And the way she touched him and his arm more specifically. She didn't have any decency at all. It was a treason. It felt like she was cheating on him since she knew about his feelings. They have to go together - Kate and Hunt - and that was outrageous! Couldn't she chose someone else? Like him, for one. He was right there and yet she preferred Hunt. Well, actually Hunt was the one to blame since he was the one going with her. And plus, he was hitting on her. And he was hitting on her in his own country, in the precinct, in their precinct. On Castle's territory. How dare he?! That could be punishable. Or it had to be. Punishable by death. Okay, death was too harsh but he got carried away. He was exaggerating because the jealousy was eating away at him. But someone should definitely punish that guy by deporting him back to his own county. And if that could happen within seconds would be the perfect timing. Of all the women in Manhattan he chose Kate? His Kate?! It was not like Castle had marked her or anything but couldn't he see they had something special? And it wasn't like Castle didn't want to mark her though. Mark her with a kiss or with... Well, he wasn't a dog who marked his territory so what was he supposed to do to her? And mostly to him? She was his and Colin was blind for not seeing it. And obviously he intended to steal his Kate away from him. That guy definitely deserved to go back to where he came from and never come back. Leave for good. And what the hell were they thinking? That they were in a movie and going together undercover was just a game? A joke? It was very a serious matter. And Kate just couldn't do that to him. She had to go with him and not with the Scotland Yard guy. Because he was trained specialist, and he had been going undercover with her before that. And he had done it so many times. And plus, they looked like a couple. And yet she didn't. He couldn't believe her. Instead she went with the British-accent-talking guy. And totally forgot about him. And now Hunt was the one who would get to spend some time with her, to talk to her, and perhaps even to dance with her. And just thinking about it made him feel sick. He couldn't bear the thought of another man touching her, dancing with her, flirting with her. Making her smile. Even just spending time with her. With his Kate.

 _"I saw the way she was looking at him when I was talking on the phone. And the way she smiled at him. Was she flirting with him? She didn't flip or fiddled with her hair so that was a good sign. But the bad sign was her smile. And the fact that he was definitely flirting with her. He was looking at her and didn't look away even for a second, drooling at her. Maybe he didn't even blink and just gazed at her. And then as they were talking she looked at me. Of course I quickly looked away, pretending to be talking when I was barely listening to what Jacinda was saying. Were they talking about me? Or laughing at me. Because she was smiling - that I saw with my eyes. There wasn't any touching but she touched him enough already when they were going together at the party. And probably some more when they were undercover. It was good that I wasn't there... Should he be so close to her when they talked? Hey, stay away from her, she's not yours!"_ Castle was thinking, wanting to shout at Inspector Hint to go away from her. He walked to her as soon as he hang up the phone but the Inspector was already leaving.

"Where's Scotland Yard off to? " He asked, filled with hope.

"Oh, he's going back to London," she answered, turning back to look at him.

 _"Yay! Good for him. He's leaving. Oh, yeah! He's leaving for London. Finally! It was about time!"_

Castle was so relived and happy by the good news. He even thought of a song and it went like this: "He's leaving! Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah! I am having Kate all for myself! Hooray, hooray, hurrah!" He was in seventh heaven when she told him and he even thought of dance moves to the song but maybe he would dance later.

"Um Castle, do you have a second? Can we talk?" She asked him, looking very serious and concerend about something. His happiness didn't last long. She asked him to talk and she looked very serious. But he remembered that Jacinda was there, waiting for him. Unlike Kate who obviously wasn't. And he just didn't know what to do.

 _"So_ Scotland Yard _is leaving and still, she hadn't said a word. And she had plenty of time to say something, to give me a sign. Anything. So maybe I was wrong. Maybe she wasn't jealous. Maybe I got confused and I was just fantasizing. Perhaps I was just dreaming. Seeing what I wished to see. What if she wasn't jealous because she didn't like me? Didn't want me? She had plenty of time to think about my words since she remembered everything I had said to her. Time to reconsider everything and tell me something. And yet she didn't. So maybe she didn't deserve a chance to talk to me. What's there to talk about?"_

"Actually, I don't. Jacinda has the Ferrari double parked in a loading zone," he answered and hurried to leave before he changed his mind.

"Wow. Four dates in three days," she said as he stopped and turned to hear what she had to say. And even though she said "Wow" she didn't sound very impressed, judging by her tone. "You like her." She stated, looking at him and she sounded a bit surprised.

"Yeah. Why?" He asked and he waited. He decided to give her another chance. Give her some time to say what she had in mind and so he patiently waited for an answer. He wanted her to stop him. To say something. To show any sign of jealousy. Or that at least she cared. He just stood there, looking at her, hoping she would say something. He was positive, filled with hope that she would finally say something about Jacinda, about them.

 _"Come on, Kate, say something. Anything. Just give me some hope. Now is the perfect time to tell me how you feel. Just say the word and I will cancel my date immediately."_

"Uh, she just... she doesn't seem like your type."

 _"That's all you have to say about her, Kate? Nothing else?"_ She just stated it like that, looking at him with a blank face.

"Well, she's fun and uncomplicated," he said, looking down because he just couldn't look her in the eyes. "I think that's what my life needs right now," he answered her and walked off, disappointed. He knew he was probably too harsh with her, even a bit mean, but he didn't care. She was mean with him, too.

And what he said to her was true. He needed someone easy. Not complicated. Not like Kate. He needed someone who didn't build walls behind which she hid herself. A woman who didn't keep her feelings locked and who didn't hide her emotions. Someone who wasn't afraid to let him in her life. He was done waiting for Kate. He was sick and tired of getting his hopes up. And in the end, he was the one who got hurt. Because it pained him deeply that she didn't do anything, didn't say a word to him. Even though she knew how he felt. Which meant only one thing - there was no hope. Not even the slightest.


	8. Eye of the Beholder

**AN: I had never guessed that I'd recieve so many suggestions from you guys. Thank you very much for your interest. I honestly couldn't think anything about "The Squab and The Quail" - sorry for that but I prefer writing about Caskett when they still weren't together because that was more interesting and funny. I try to keep it light and funny and I couldn't think of anything funny about that episode. As for the other suggestion about episode "Nikki Heat" - I've already written a fanfcition about it and it's called "The thin line between love and hate" so you can see it if you want. But I'll write about another guest's wish - "Eye of the Beholder". I hope everyone would like it. Please let me know what you think about it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or its characters**

 **Eye of the Beholder**

Kate Beckett's POV:

Is it possible to hate someone the second you meet him? Well, I think it definitely is because I started hating a certain woman right away. The moment I met her. I hated the way she made an entrance, catching Castle's attention the second that she walked in. Castle and I were discussing the case, theorizing together when she entered cockily, saying that it was not likely about mine and Castle's theory. And then she tore our theory to pieces. Who the hell was that woman to interrupt our foreplay...uhm, I mean theorizing like that?! Theorizing, not foreplay! Because there's a huge difference between the two of them. In a foreplay you feel good. Not that when we theorize together I don't feel good though. But in a foreplay you get to appreciate the body and in theorizing you appreciate the mind. Well, I for one, appreciated his body even during our theorizing but only from time to time. So there's huge difference. And I try avoiding thinking about any huge things when I am looking at him as we theorize, too. Well, you could say I admire his brain as well as his body from time to time. But very rarely. I just can't help it. It's like an instinct. But in theorizing I start saying something and he finishes off my sentence and then I finish off his until we both finish together. That sounded purer in my mind... But anyway, I got carried away. We were theorizing together and that woman interrupted us! Couldn't she see we weren't finished?! I was undone. Not sexually! I mean it in totally pure and innocent way. Not only didn't she left me and Castle finish but she also disproved our theory right in our faces! The nerve of that woman! She just couldn't barge in like she owns the place and do such a thing to us! Well obviously she could. Who did she think she was? So I asked her straight in her face who the hell she was. Well, you could say that I asked her just a bit more nicely. And so she introduced herself. And the way she did it! Unbelievable! "Serena Kaye" she announced. And she did it with such a cocky demeanor. "The museum's insurance investigator," she said haughtily like she was saying: "I am the President of the United States!" She made such a big deal out of it. But she was certainly not!

But I couldn't believe Castle and the face that he was making as he was staring at her, or drooling over her would be more precisely to say. He looked so fascinated by her. "She's good," he stated. And the nerve he had to say that right in my face. As I was some kind of a buddy for him with whom he could share an opinion about other women. That wasn't fair! "What about proof?" I argued. Because she just said a theory without any actual proof. That woman was just speculating so I wasn't impressed by her not even a little bit but Castle on the other hand obviously was. And that was just an understatement. "I don't need proof to know that I'm right. It's my job," she stated so confidently and arrogantly. I couldn't believe her! It's her job to know that she's right?! I don't think that there's such occupation. That kind of job obviously existed only in her mind. In her imagination. She obviously lived in a world where she can speculate whenever she wants and be right about it. And she was probably working an imaginary job where all you have to do is say things and be right about it without any actual proof. Because if there was such occupation for real I would have known. And she had the nerve to offer her help to do my job! Of course I would accept her help only when the hell freezes!

"She has valuable assets," Castle said after he had looked at her ass. I couldn't believe him! "Not those kind," he immediately denied just when I had caught him staring at her assets. Yeah, right, I totally believe you, Castle. Liar, liar pants on fire! Well, his pants might be on fire but for another reason. Because she was the one who lit his fire the moment she entered the room, I could tell. He was staring at her ass but he clearly meant another kind of assets? Did Castle think I was an idiot?! I was not born yesterday! I saw the way he was staring at her and I could see what was on him mind and his mouth as well because he usually doesn't think through what he is saying. He was staring at her ass, checking out her body, scrutinizing her. And I knew that because sometimes he was staring at me like that. So I knew for sure what exactly he was doing. Of course I played innocent and pretend I didn't notice. She was museum's insurance investigator after all, not a piece of art to stare at her like that. And he had the audacity to talk about her ass. Did I look like a man now?! What the hell he was thinking, sharing his stupid opining like that!? And to talk to me about other woman's assets. He was insufferable. Just a few moments ago Castle was probably thinking about me. He was imagining what I said to him, trying to picture me in collage, posing as a model. Because I just wanted to tease him a little and I nailed it. But after seeing Serena he obviously stopped thinking about me, forgetting everything I said. Now his mind was all busy with her. And not only his mind... other parts, too.

Serena Kaye. Her last name sounded like Okay but without the "o" in the beginning. And she really was okay, fine, even more than fine according to Castle. But what kind of name was that?! It was kind of stupid unlike her. Because she was a know-it-all. A very cocky and way too arrogant know-it-all, if you ask me. But Castle was drooling over her and hadn't stopped doing it ever since the moment she set her foot in my precinct. He didn't look away even for a few seconds. He probably couldn't. It was like his eyes were glued to her body. And me? Did he look at me? No, he didn't even take a quick glance. It was as if I was just some kind of a background for him now. And I was just trying not give anything away even though I was furious. I was just staring at them with my poker face, trying to look nonchalant, seeing them making googly eyes at each other. And I really did try not to make faces but when Espo came and Castle declared that she was with us I just couldn't help it. And plus, Castle was not only staring at Serena but listening to every single word she pronounced so carefully. I was talking, too but probably all he was hearing was a white noise. Great! And now Espo is staring at her, too. Or drooling over her is more precisely to say. Just like Castle. They all were making such a fuss over her. Haven't they seen a woman before?! They were treating her like she was persona-grata, a star, some famous celebrity. But she was nothing of that sort! They had to stop staring at her!

And then out of the blue Castle started following her. When Serena got up and declared she was going to seek leads on the case we were working on, Castle immediately decided to go with her. What the hell was happening? I wanted to ask him not to go with her, to stay at the precinct with me. But all I said was "fine". And of course it wasn't fine, couldn't he see that? I was feeling far from good. And then I wanted to scream after him: "Fine! Go with her! See if I care!" But he was already gone. He used to follow me around everywhere I went and now he wanted to go with her! That was preposterous! I was his muse after all not her. Why would he follow her? I had no idea. Well, I had a few suggestions but I didn't want to think about it. I was so mad at him at that moment. I just couldn't think straight.

When they came back Castle looked so smug. So happy that he was with her. And then he wanted to go with her again? I bet he had a nice time since he wanted to repeat. The good thing was that she said no to his company. "I'll catch you later?" she had the audacity to say despite the fact that I was still there, looking at them. And plus, that was my line. Castle always wanted to catch up with me not with her. "Catch me any time," he answered back, looking at her like I wasn't there at all. And I couldn't help but roll me eyes at him. Not that he noticed me anyway. And yeah, I'll bet she would catch him! Over my dead body! But I was sure she would catch him no matter what I did. No matter how hard I tried to prevent it. I didn't want to witness their flirting anymore so I just walked away. Far from them and their flirting, their googly eyes and Castle's smug smile when he was looking at her. And plus, he was ignoring me completely. So I left them all alone. I just didn't want to think about them or about anything at all. Because I was furious. And frustrated.

I was so mad at Castle. So angry that I wanted to kill someone. A specific person. Blond one with high heels and a dress so tight that she barely walks in it. Or strut in it because that's what she does. After all she was the reason I was so angry with him. And I was mad at her, too. I was furious at Serena for showing up out of nowhere, and then coming at my precinct uninvited and unwanted. But apparently only by me. Because everyone else around just loved her. But I hated her for going out with Castle, for strutting around him with her tight revealing dresses, distracting him. I hated her for flirting with Castle right in front of me, and making googly eyes at him as if I wasn't there at all. I hated her for so many reasons. The list was endless. And I really needed to tell someone about it. I just wanted to share my pain with someone and since Castle was out of the question because he was the reason that I was in that state in the first place, I went to my therapist. And so I told him all about that cocky woman. I told him how uncooperative and stubborn she was. And I told him all about Castle and how smitten he was. Or at least he looked that way. I wanted to share my pain with someone who would understand me; someone who would give me support and sympathy. And good advices as well, I hoped. And my therapist really did help me. He helped me realize the situation and deal with my feelings. "What are you really scared of? That he won't wait for you? Or that he will?" He asked me. And that was the question which I couldn't face. I wasn't ready and I just didn't want to think about it. Of course I wanted Castle to wait for me. But it was complicated. And I explained the difficult situation between me and Castle to my therapist. I told him all about it. And I just started wondering what to do. Would it be right to make him wait for me and stop their romance before it really began? But I just couldn't tell Castle to wait for me. I would feel guilty if I made him wait for something I didn't know when I would be ready for. And Serena obviously liked him. He liked her back as far as I could tell so I just couldn't forbidden him to see her. Not that I didn't want though. Everything seemed so complicated.

I was so confused and frustrated. I just didn't know what to do. And I hadn't even considered that it would be necessary to do anything about it until I saw Castle. And then he asked me about going out with Serena. What was he thinking?! That I was a priest and he needed my blessing!? Or was he just trying to rub my nose in it? "Should I pursue it," he asked me. That were his exact words. It?! If by "it" he meant moving to another country because I was going to kill him if he went out with her then yes. Positively. And that was what I told him. To suit himself. To do whatever he liked because he indeed always did whatever he wants to do. But I didn't mean what I said. And I didn't say what I meant. What I truly wanted to say to him. He wanted to go out with her. I couldn't believe it! Not when just a few months ago he had said that he loved me. And I could remember his words clearly in my mind. I still remembered his exact words, his pleads, begging me to stay with him. I remembered his confession. And I really thought that all of it was true. Why would he lie? But then I started doubting his words. When I lied that I didn't remember anything from the shooting he didn't say anything. Didn't do anything. So maybe he didn't mean what he said. I knew perfectly well that in desperate times, when you are on the verge of losing someone, you could say things you don't mean. Or things you are not ready to say just yet but you say them anyway, out of desperation. So perhaps he didn't mean it since he hadn't said a word about it after that. And he had plenty of time. So it became less and less likely for him to love me. I truly doubted his words and his feelings. Especially after Serena appeared in his live. And she was always there, working with us, shadowing us, distracting Castle. And now he wanted to go out with her. On a date! That wasn't just a small hint which I could just ignore. He liked her. That was that. It was a big deal and an obvious confession. He just liked her and t hat was for real. I couldn't pretend anymore. I couldn't lie to myself that it was fine by me. Not anymore.

I was really worried about the whole situation until Serena became one of our suspects. She was just a thief and I was going to prove it mainly to make Castle see that she wasn't good for him. And Castle and Serena were about to go on a date anyway so why not expose her while he was at it? The plan was simple: Castle invites her on a date and distracts her while we are looking for clues in her room. All he had to do was keep her busy and out of her room. And everything was going according to plan until I exited her room and saw them kissing. My Castle and Serena! " What are you doing here?" she had the nerve to ask me. "Arresting you for theft! And murder!" I declared angrily as I just saw them kissing and I could barely believe my eyes. I was arresting Serena for murder and preventing myself from committing one because I just wanted to kill her. Castle had her lipstick on his mouth. I just couldn't even look at him at that moment. And at her either. What was she trying to do? Steal my Castle?! I mean, just Castle. Not mine because he still wasn't mine. But he wasn't hers either. So I was arresting her for theft and murder. Theft for trying to steal my boyfr- ... I mean my Castle... just Castle. And murder for trying to kill our relationship with him. Okay, maybe not a relationship but partnership, our connection, our special thing, our bond. And that was something that she definitely deserved to go to jail for. And Castle should follow her, too. Because he had the audacity to blame me for the kiss and for everything else. I couldn't believe him! He just justified himself in front of me, saying that I was the one who told him to go out with her and to keep her occupied. Okay, I admit that it was true, I was the one who suggested to go out with her. There, I said it. And I told him to stall her but I definitely didn't say to put his tongue in her mouth and kiss her. If I have said that I would remember. I surely didn't tell him anything of that sort. But obviously he had some problem with his hearing. And with reading too because I texted him to stall her not kiss her. My instructions were pretty clear. Or at least I thought they were. Until he decided to take matters in his own hands. Literally.

Not only did she kiss Castle right in front of me but she had the nerve to tell me that I was ignoring my instincts which were telling me she was innocent. What did she know about my instincts! Innocent or not I just didn't care. I was more worried about Castle not about the case. She was a thief and she was trying to steal Castle. And she even admitted it. That she was a thief not that she was trying to steal Castle. But she didn't need to admit that she wanted to steal Castle under my nose because it was kind of obvious. She was a professional theft, a very smart woman, a know-it all who knew all about stealing because it was her job to steal valuable things so I was really worried. And I had every right to be worried. Just like I had every right to hate her. Because I did. I hated her so much. And also, I started hating her even more, if that was even possible, when I noticed the dress she was wearing. A red one which was shorter and it showed a lot more cleavage. She was wearing that dress on her date with Castle?! The nerve of that woman! How would she show up next time?! In her underwear? Or even worse - naked!? That woman had no shame! Didn't she have a pants and a shirt? Didn't she own any normal clothes? Why she was always wearing dresses? If she didn't have any normal clothes I would gladly buy her and give it to her for free. Just so she can put something on. Something normal. She needed to cover herself up a little because Castle had wild imagination and I didn't want her so close to him looking like that. Who the hell did she think she was?! A supermodel in a fashion week!? My precinct was not her podium to walk, dressed like that and strut around. Because she was always strutting when she walked. Probably on purpose. Just for a show. To distract Castle and try to turn his head. Or maybe she could barely walk in a dress so tight around her body. Perhaps she could barely breathe in it and not to mention that she just couldn't walk like a normal person with that stupid dress and such high heels. I hated Serena and her stupid dress and everything else!

Honestly, I didn't know who I hated more - Castle or Serena. Both of them had done something wrong and had a big part in the whole thing. It was their fault that I was so angry and frustrated. After all, Castle was the one who kissed Serena so it was his own fault that I was so mad at him. But Serena was the one who seduced him and probably made him do it and I mean she made him kiss her, not something else. Or at least I'd like to think that way. Well, not that Castle seemed to mind it anyway. So that was her fault, too. And she made me furious. They both acted like teenagers, flirting with each other, making googly eyes, kissing each other and making out. And who knows what else. The good thing was that I was there to stop them. Okay, I have to admit that partly it was my fault. But just a small tiny bit. Because I was the one who made Castle to go out with her. I guess I wanted to catch Serena, to compromise her in front of Castle's eyes so badly that I didn't think things through. I wanted him to see that she was a criminal and prevent their little romance. Or whatever they had. Their flirting, or call it whatever you want. I just wanted it so badly. But in the end I just brought them closer. And that was my own fault.

So ultimately, I had to admit defeat. I saw that Serena liked him so I just had to step away and let Castle pursue it as he said. Leave them alone and make peace with it. I was trying really hard not to dwell on it too much. I didn't like Serena because she was a thief after all but Castle liked her so my opinion didn't really matter. So I reassured her that Castle believed she was innocent and hadn't had any doubts about it. And I left them alone. But in the end, it turned out that Serena wasn't that bad after all. "I don't steal things that belong to someone else." I overheard her saying that to Castle, looking at him. Okay, I have to admit that I was eavesdropping but can you blame me? I was spying on them, you could say it, but I really wanted to see what was going to happen. I was just curious. But I felt so relieved when I heard her saying those words. And then she kissed him on the cheek but I could forgive her for that one. I had to let it past me because I was so happy. She was a thief but she was righteous and had an honor, I have to admit that. Of course I played surprised that Castle didn't go out with her and he totally believed me. It was a piece of cake. Castle was so clueless sometimes.


End file.
